2012 年 4 月 28 日 星期六 【晴】

i m really exhausted..

driving lesson canceled, red rain storm signal this morning..
then tutoring was canceled yesterday morning, coz the girl needed extra tutoring at school
during the holiday. i cant change my schedule to do make-up class.

yesterday was super busy at work. i got like 7 hrs at that busy counter and the promotion
desk. it was like non-stop. then 1 hr at the check-in counter upstairs, supposed to be free
but then coz that hr was the closing hr, and i got logs of passes waiting to be deactivated.
phone calls, ppl checking in and out, it was busy as well. but luckily we didnt need to
OT for too long. i kept checking the record during the day, nothing went wrong till night,
but then it was just a minor problem, so it's ok.

i dont like working with *B, she was trying to create problem. *My was there and told me to
be careful of *B, coz *B might be just setting things up, for sure she could handle that
by herself, she came asking for advice or suggestion coz she knew i'd need to be
responsible for that decision. i told *My maybe *B just didnt know if she could let that
customer get the gift. well, i took over the case anyway... and... hummm i should have
told *B that i'd take care of it but she should follow the regulation, then i'd report to *M the
supervisor about that case.. so that *B couldnt pull my leg after that.... i'm stupid.

anyway.... i went to the bank yesterday morning since tutoring was canceled. i thought
bank operated till 12 on Sat, but then it was the public holiday, not just the regular Sat.
i totally forgot. i only remembered some of the days this week are holidays, but its like...
maybe i have too much on my mind.

i m trying to organize my stuffs before my trip...
and i have a plenty of things to do.

i still have to drop by the store to get some stuffs, then also need to go to the bank,
need to rent the sim card on line for phone, need to pack my stuffs, re-arrange my
tutoring of May, and also driving lessons in May.. need to take my shoes at work,
need to tidy up my locker, get the mirror home, then my clothes, i havent decided
what to bring, and also jacket, if i d need any jacket. and a bunch of stuffs....

brb... i m exhausted.

>>April 29, 2012 at 2:32:33 AM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 25 日 星期三 【晴】

it was so so at work today...
got 3 hrs with *B but yea whatever...

after work, chilled out with *M, *DK, *G, and *Sr. we had ice-cream together.
first scoop from Spring. they were pretty angry today..
then, after the ice cream, *M and i went to do some shopping.
i started buying gifts since yesterday actually. did some more shopping today.
it was nice. kept trying different cologne for him. then i finally picked one. yay.
then i also bought him a t-shirt and some chocolate. i bought Ayako some small bags.
i hope they'd like them. i have a lot of things on my mind now.. and i'm trying to
organize my things so that i could prepare better and also need to look for a new job.
i dont know...

then... yea........

chatted with R for a few mins, then i told her i blocked *K. she asked me why..
i told her the main lines.. i dont wanna explain more. just that i know she knows part
of it from the others, i dont want her guessing or take me wrong, so i rather be straight
about what happened so that she wouldnt take me wrongly. and she thinks i'd need to
get used to be with *B at work, or just need to be more tolerant of her unreasonable
attitude about her fling with *K. well, one of the things i've learned from my work place
is be ready to take any bs from the ppl ard anytime. its not even about me now..
coz... i cant put up with fake faces or those terrible bitchy attitude from my so-called
teammates. im trying and trying to be understanding and considerate everyday.
i m trying. and its like.... whatever she wants to do just go ahead. i pay my basic
respect. i dont feel comfortable with her at all but its my job, what other choices do i have?
i dont hate ppl having a fling, but using that to go against me while i m not so relevant
at all, that's really pissing me off. *R said *B is just being nuts and childish.
sure, and thats why i wanna see her as .... just a ....... hummm another girl that
i dont need to care or think for. whatever she does is not gonna affect me anymore
seriously. its her choice, and she doesnt think for the others. its not like the fling she
has must be approved by the others, but the problems she's causing at work she totally
ignore them, and she doesnt care how others feel, not how they see her but how
uncomfortable she made ppl feel, if she doesnt care about the others at all, she probably
deserves all the good and bad with her unique choice. i wont do any tricks, but i just
think she's really low class and i have no interests to put myself into her comparison.
and the thing is.... i rather be proud of myself that i could be out from the mess *K created.
from now on, no, from that day i blocked him, i'm totally out of that messy story.
and i m pretty happy for that.

i m going to japan so soon.. he hasnt replied me yet.
well..... i dont know...

i have e-mailed some friends in japan..
last year i didnt tell them when i was there, this year i wana let them know..
although we are not that close anymore, they might not wanna meet me, still... as a friend,
it's always nice to see my friends.

i m a bit nervous about my trip actually... dont know what he's thinking.
he probably doesnt know as well, or he does know he just doesnt wanna tell me.

>>April 27, 2012 at 2:04:41 AM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 23 日 星期一 【晴】

i've got my first time compliment today, a real black and white one.
i usually get ''thank-you'' by candies or chocolates or gifts or a big smile..
but this nice lady really wrote me a comment card. thank her so much that really touched
my heart. i always want to help ppl, like really helping them not spoiling them.
so, i m actually happy if i could help them. but i d never really asked for anything in return
as in invited them for the comment card. i know some girls do but i'd never... and...
today when they told me the lady from yesterday returned to ask for where i was coz
she wanted to thank me, i was surprised. i wasnt at that counter, so she wrote me a card.
thats very sweet and... i m glad that besides those unofficial ones, i finally have my first
official one. i didnt make it a very big deal, but soon they knew.

before that, i have asked my trainee *D if she thought i m weird that i feel uncomfortable
with what *B does. *D said *B is weird to everyone especially to me that everyone can
see it. she asked me not to worry but try to ignore her since she's doing this on purpose.
i think so, coz... i have other things that worth much more of my attention and concern.
i had lunch break with *B again, but i... i....... left since i finished eating. i didnt take rest
there. i took a walk instead.

after work, i went to the Marks & Spencer and bought some dinner from the grocery
store then took the driving lesson.

i m so tired but i couldnt sleep..

>>April 24, 2012 at 3:37:43 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 22 日 星期日 【晴】

:(







>>April 23, 2012 at 2:51:49 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 21 日 星期六 【晴】

super bad day.
i canceled my driving lesson.
i worried if i drive, i'd crash.

i wanted to cry but i had no tears coming out.

there shouldnt be any mistakes at that promotion counter.
its impossible. but *Yn walked out from the counter all of the sudden, interrupted again,
then things started going wrong. i dont mind if she took control. but if she did then please
dont walk away coz its so easy to be wrong and it was quite messy enough already.
and i cant blame her, coz i m supposed to be able to do shit on my own.
and i dont think any procedure went wrong, not possible. i found the problem, then i told
her. it was easy but she said it was my fault. no it wasnt, although it seemed to be.
i told her no. i checked. and the record before was done by her and she forgot.
she said she made sure it was right, so did i, coz i knew it was right. but after that record
thing went wrong. and i m sure i didnt issue the wrong one. she put it on me when she
told *C. i didnt say anything. we kept checking and redeeming vouchers out at the
same time. then some other record went wrong. then i told her, we checked on every
record, nothing wrong right? that's the problem, thats impossible to be wrong. coz we both
double checked on every redemption before giving the voucher. she double checked,
then i double checked, 4 fucking times and that's still wrong. and she put it on my while
telling the others. i dont care if she means it or not, she did it already. i cant blame her
but shouldnt she be responsible for that too? whatever. my bad.

i was super exhausted, very stressed at the mall today coz of the exhibition and the
manager was at the counter the whole day, in and out in and out to watch the situation.
it was super crowded, never be that crowded before, and still we needed to handle
the spring summer promotion and citi-bank promotion at the same time.. still need to
do that crazy amount of visitor passes for the property show flat upstairs. crazy phone
calls and inquires for the exhibition, how to get here, who's in-charged, time for guide tour,
registration, fee, transportation here, free parking redemption, different promotions,
lots of complains, blah blah so annoying ppl asking for crazy deal. its just nuts.

i'm giving free services and free gifts, you're just fucking taking things for free not buying.
if you dont like it, leave, dont stay and pretend you're so big that we need to take whatever
from you or listen to your bullshit. its like, terms and conditions are set for some reasons,
and those reasons are so real to protect us getting harassed by assholes like you.

i ... i dont know.. i havent talked to anyone yet since i m home..




>>April 22, 2012 at 2:45:29 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 20 日 星期五 【晴】

today was crazy at work.
super busy and really really crazy as in.... too high work load.

*B was giving me a hard time today. she didnt do much, she just gave me weird look
whenever she saw me, and kept talking on phone and trying to disclose her conversation.
and of course i understand why she does that.... i dont wanna know, but i guess i'd need
to get used to her and her weird thing. *Cn said she did that on purpose, now i believe so.

anyway... yea...

i got the ticket already, and kindda asked honey where i should meet him and when since
i chose the night flight, i'd get to japan very early in the morning. very very early.
i dont do that to make it difficult for him, just that i dont think i could leave home at 5 30am
in the morning. if i leave at 5 30am, which means i probably need to get up at 4 am.
i needed to work the day before my flight, so....... sorry i prefer finish work and go home
shower, then head to the airport and sleep on the plane. but it'd be too early there that
i'd need to find somewhere to rest while waiting.

i need to start preparing to visit though. its all of the sudden, kindda excited.
maybe coz i miss him so much for long, and it's just all of the sudden i just got the ticket then
i'm going in 2 weeks. crazy yea? yes, it is.

>>April 21, 2012 at 2:48:35 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 18 日 星期三 【晴】

i m off today.
checking the ticket on line, arranging my driving lesson, hanging out with my family.
took some rest.. wanted to go for jogging but then its raining so hard today.

i emailed honey coz i was quite upset about what i saw on fb..
he replied. i hope to see him soon though... i dont know. i feel bad but i miss him.

going back to work tmr, first thing to do would be talking with my manager.
i double check with the girls today, their vacation souldnt overlap with mine.
if she approves mine then i'd need to get the ticket asap. seems very rushed but yea.



>>April 19, 2012 at 3:54:57 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 16 日 星期一 【晴】

i have heard more sides and stories about *K and *B.
i worked with *B today, and we shared lunch time together. during shift, there was another
girl at the counter, so i just did my work, nothing weird. but during lunch, it was my personal
time, i didnt wanna entertain her and i felt really uncomfortable staying next to her.
its like..... she is so fake... and i m so scared of the fake ppl.. coz i'd never know what she's
gonna do to me. i m not a strong person, i try to be but i'm not. i know i m weak.
i... always treat ppl nicely even though i might not agree with them i'd still respect them..
i.. i dont really fight back even if i want to, coz im scared that would hurt ppl and i dont feel
comfortable with that, that would make me feel guilty. but she's a scary bitch...
everyone was talking about her today, coz that *K was back yesterday and quite some of
us the girls saw him and saw her, and saw her messaging him and she kept telling ppl
about how great she felt she got someone after her behind her bf. its like... everyone is
talking about her behind her back now. *Cn told me she thought *B told me about her and
*K on purpose. *Cn said she found her pretty horrible. i said i dont know. i felt so bad that
i gotta be involved. i hate them coz i m scared by something i shouldnt be involved with.
and i felt so insecure coz he kept trying to mess with the ppl ard me. its like he has the
influence about my social life at work. he told ppl i was his ex that made me so mad at him.
and he kept telling lies and finding excuses for himself. he's nuts. when i confronted him,
he kept making up more stories, and i could tell if ppl lying. i m so scared so insecure.
i even blocked him now. i think this is a right thing to do.

i miss Stephen.. but i dont understand what i saw today.
6th sense could be really accurate sometimes that scares you so much.

>>April 17, 2012 at 4:06:07 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 15 日 星期日 【晴】

some people they would always live in fears, coz they never admitted their own
problems but keep digging into the endless cave, eventually they would burry
themselves. i cant say they deserve it, but it's just pathetic. i'll laugh it off and walk away.
i'm happy that i didnt let that *k ruin my life. i hate him. he's always been a liar.
i feel kind of scary though.. i mean.... he resigned, but he still keeps messing with the
girls who work with me. it's just scary, coz... i dont like him and i want to keep him away
from my life, he left and i thought thats great. but then he keeps coming back and...
mess with the ppl who are ard me... and that new girl *B she has a boyfriend, and
i figured that she's a total bitch. i m not the first one who found that, i was told by different
girls ard me. my friends not my friends, they all warned me to be careful of her.
i just didnt know till few days ago... i was chi chatting with a girl outside the counter while i was
waiting for the elevator. then some guy passed by, he probably recognized me, so he
said hi. i smiled and nodded my head just being polite. it happens a lot, not only guys,
i do that with female customers too. then i saw her bitchy face, that fake smile and
her eyes were telling me that she hates me. n she lies a lot... its just scary.
and i realized actually i m not the first one who thought *K is messing with *B.
i told *CN and *ML about what i saw and i sensed something's fishy. then they said they
have seen *K with *B, or *B texting with *K. and before that one time i was chatting with
*B, i knew she's seeing someone behind her bf. while chatting, i kindda thought he was *K,
i kindda warned her about office romance could turn out ugly somehow especially if its just
the...... fling, not regular relationship thing. i told her i wouldnt mind my friends having some
affair although personally i wouldnt do that to my relationship. friends are friends, as long as
it's not me then it's okay. i told her some younger guy at work liked me before and
it turned out i'd never remain friends with him. i guess she should get the picture.
but obviously she doesnt care. well, i dont know... i just dont feel very comfortable about
that now. its like..... i want him gone from me, i want him to disappear and leave me alone.
he didnt really leave me alone, and now he's messing with the girl who works with me.
its just........ hummmmm i dont know what it is. and i realized he's been trying to get
whoever who's so nearby me. its just super scary. i've been ignoring him.. but he's just
like............ always there.... he appears once awhile never gone away. its just frightening me.
i dont want to give any responses coz.... i worry whatever i do would only makes him
excited or make him keep trying to get attention again and again. i m scared.

>>April 16, 2012 at 1:16:33 PM GMT+8

2012 年 4 月 14 日 星期六 【晴】

work was crazily busy coz of the baby mammoth exhibition, the unlimited on-going
changes at work for the system and renovation. its just that crazy, and the promotion
is coming so soon.

you know.. i wanna see him soon..
i miss him so much.
i miss him not coz of my work but i just miss him so much, i dont want to be apart from him.
not like i have to be dependent on him, we are still two individuals, i just love him wanna
be next to him. i need him, not someone else but him.





>>April 15, 2012 at 2:42:12 PM GMT+8