2012 年 7 月 6 日 星期五 【晴】

today was very busy... it was kind of crazy.
i just ignored that *B. they asked me not to feel bad.
then i asked them what if that were themselves, would they feel bad or it's okay with them?
they said then of course would feel bad, at least a little upset. then yea, they can't expect
me not to feel bad to be honest, i said. they said they understand.
well, i m nice enough to let her go and not to do anything to harm her, but i m not naive
enough to keep her as my friend. my friend won't do that to me.

i miss him.. i didn't tell him about *B.. i wanted to tell him but i don't want him to worry.

>>July 7, 2012 at 4:20:08 PM GMT+8

2012 年 7 月 5 日 星期四 【晴】

honey got my package already, yay.
and i have received a very warm sentence from him. the good news with the kitten and
the bad news with his sleeping pattern. i miss him so much... i want him so much..
but i m not going to do anything stupid that i might regret, i was tempted to go clubbing tonight,
but i didn't at the end.

i was so upset at work today, so pissed off, so pissed off, SO PISSED OFF.
i was so temped to go get drunk tonight, but i didn't step into any pubs or clubs.
but what i did was... just go to the 7-11 to pick a lime-voka, drunk half of the bottle,
then threw it away, get on the bus to home. the reason why i didn't step in,
coz i think of him and my family. i don't wanna waste my time and money when i'm angry
or at somewhere i don't belong to. i rather go home and spend time and dinner with my family.

why i am so pissed off... coz in fact, *C and *F ditched me. that's the thing, i hate
ppl changing plan at the last min. i don't easy go out with friends after work, coz i m
so tired everyday. and finally we could find a day that we could get together, and all of the
sudden when i mesg them this morning, both of them ditched me. okay, fine.
but don't expect me finding some other day or reschedule my time for them.
i told them no. i didn't think we could, i would be leaving anyway. then *C mesg back
arranging another day. i was like, alright.. should be okay. the thing is....... its my problem,
i hate ppl changing plan at the last minute. but that's okay... that's not what running my day.
it's actually Ms.B she's a real total bitch. i don't know if i ever wanna meet her again
at work. i m not sure if i ever wanna see her at the same counter. i don't know how to face
her basically. she makes me an obvious enemy of hers, she makes it clear to all my friends
now while i didn't do anything to her. it makes me feel extremely bad, EXTREMELY BAD.
she invited all my friends for dinner but didn't allow me to go. and she said i could join the
next one also as my farewell. she told the others i was busy today while she didn't actually
ask or actually knew. and you know the funniest thing is? why wouldn't i wanna spend time
with my real friends instead the fake on my last day if i eve want a party?! and what makes
her fucking brain thinks that i would want to see her on my last day while she's telling all
my friends that i'm not her friend on ''her girls'' list? holding a farewell party for me? has she
ever used her fucking brain to think that i dont want anything from her? who does she
think i am? i m someone whenever she doesn't want then i'd be gone and when she wants
me then i should stay? fucking day-dreaming. i m not going to go to her fucking party, and
she could leave me alone from now on. i m not her puppy to go against the other bitches
who hated her so much. dignity has always been with me, i don't need her fucking pity.
i m not jealous, coz i wouldn't even go if i was invited. but when she attacked me while i
have been trying and trying and trying to be nice to her not to stab her at her back, she
should know i m not the right person she should mess with. i'm really pissed off.
why does she do that? i have wondered to tell that *K to ask her secret gf *B to shut the
fuck up. she's really really annoying me all the time.

1:42am


i pasted this on my Facebook just now..
''i had lots of things going on my mind tonight. i was so tempted to get drunk by myself.
but i think of him and my family. so, all i did is walking all the way to the 7-11 by LKF,
got a lime-vodka, drunk half of it, trashed it, got on the bus home to spend time with
my family in stead. it actually made me feel better :) i remain fabulous and confident as
i always do. i don't need any pity game, all those bullshit game, and i am fine :) ''

yea, i'm fine. i didn't do anything stupid to piss off myself even more. i did the right thing.
why should i feel bad afterward? yea, i'm still pissed off, but should i care that much?
i shouldn't let her hurt me. in fact she should know how naive she is to think of such
stupid thing, but that's not gonna affect me...

i should try to get some sleep.. getting up at 6 15am tmr for work then tutoring after work.
i miss him..

2:36am




>>July 6, 2012 at 6:32:34 PM GMT+8

2012 年 7 月 2 日 星期一 【晴】

extremely tired....
all my energy was sucked out today.............. :'(

work was busy but okay.
then..... i couldn't go to the bathroom, i m worried about the body check tmr.

i actually sleep very late last night, maybe ard 2 am... then i got up at 7 am..
i went to the store, did some shopping, then went to the post office, and i went to work..

i need to do some banking tmr, and also would have the body check appointment.
i need to do the banking tmr, i must.

i miss him so much.. i asked Doris, if she's gonna meet honey. she's not sure about
her schedule yet... humm...

then the star Andy Griffth died today.. :(

>>July 3, 2012 at 4:59:38 PM GMT+8

2012 年 7 月 1 日 星期日 【晴】

i'm exhausted... so damn busy today....

i emailed honey, and chatted with him through email for awhile before work.
Doris is in Tokushima now. i miss her, and i miss him... seriously i miss him.

i finished the tax return form.. and i paid the student loan this morning before work.
i was a bit late to work but still, i made it on time. then tomorrow i'd need to do the banking
or i'd need to do it the day after. i'd need to go to the post office, and did some shopping
before that. i wanna send honey a package tomorrow, don't wanna be too late..
but then i also wanna do the banking.. then i'd need to get to work by 10:30am,
work starts at 11.

i moved the locker already. but they assigned me to another place which is good and bad.
good is, i could be closer with my friends. bad is it's half size of what i used to have, then
it's not as convenient as well. work was super busy today... it almost killed all of my energy.
my manager would return to work tomorrow... she probably would ask me to see her.
then i also need to confirm with her about my annual leaves. i want them for my body
check and the day afterward.

anyway, i'd need to speak with Doris soon.. wanna know if she wants to meet with honey.
for me, hummmm i'd like to introduce my family to honey, and of course let honey see my
family too. and especially when i miss him so much, although i can't see him now, well
at least Doris can? but Doris and i are very different. i don't know if he would notice that hahaha.

>>July 2, 2012 at 5:52:36 PM GMT+8

2012 年 6 月 30 日 星期六 【晴】

hihi...

work was busy yesterday but okay, i overcame it... exhausted but ok..

last night, i dropped by the Naraya shop, bought a few cosmetic bags for Doris,
then i bought a handbag for myself, 4 bags together, HKD190. unbelievably cheap.
then back home helped Doris packing till really late... i slept ard 2 am?
got up ard 5 sth this morning, then we all left home by 6 45am?
we sent Doris to the airport, she's going to Japan for 3 weeks. very far..
but she'd spend 3 or 4 days in Tokyo. i was wondering if honey would have time to meet
her. but he didn't say anything.

bought Doris some banana cake from starbucks, it's her favourite. hummm..
then we hung around the T2 there. i bought some funny snack from a store there,
i'm gonna send him. haha.

sigh... tmr, i'd need to move my locker down to the management office, finally detached
from the main office washroom. which is actually good. i don't need to see my manager
as often, don't have to socialise with the officers as often. i could hang out with the ppl
from another team more. i have some friends there. so its nice. but i'm counting down
my days at ifc now. i'd also need to study before i start the training in Aug.
i've figured out the problems with the actual flight time. its not difficult actually. hee. silly me.

i'd need to finish the tax return form tonight, and then i need to do the banking, and drop by
the post office soon. hummm... this month, my expenses is a little higher than normal,
coz i'd need to pay the student loans. then i still haven't heard from my student about the
schedule for July. don't know why it takes so long this time...

i miss him.... what should i do? he didn't reply me since last time. i don't know if he couldn't
get my email or he's just busy.

i'd treasure my time left at ifc, to finish my duty, to be responsible for the team, and of course
to enjoy the time left with my friends there.




>>July 1, 2012 at 12:09:54 PM GMT+8

2012 年 6 月 28 日 星期四 【晴】

i have got the stuffs done today...

i went to the training class at Sheung Shui, then i ran to Burger King to get lunch,
i couldn't finish them, i was in a rush, then i rushed to the Airport. made call to the Airport
Office. my permit was ready, then i dropped by there, waited for an hour to get my permit.
then rushed to the KA House, submitted the permit, the contracts and other documents.
great. then i rushed back home coz it was typhoon there, super windy. and i was exhausted.

training was okay, i m surprised. but yea.... met some new ppl there..
i met the officer from work. he was there with me today. nothing special.
he kindda asked if we would have lunch together, i didn't say anything. then i said i needed
to go to washroom to get changing, see you at work later. then i ran.

i m going to take body check on July 4.. i need to study the terminologies and company
background... lots of stuffs.

i miss him so much.. i miss him :(
then i got his reply.. he asked about dad and my job. he seldom asks actually.
it makes me feel warm that he asks.

Doris is going to Japan so soon. i wish i could go too.

tmr... i m not sure if the Signal No.8 would still be on. i hope it world so that i don't need to work...



>>June 29, 2012 at 2:29:42 PM GMT+8

2012 年 6 月 27 日 星期三 【晴】

today was okay..

i got the documents done.. then finished the CBT program..
took a walk with mom in the late afternoon..

tomorrow i'm going to the training offered by my current job.. from 9:30 am to 1pm.
weird.. i wondered they would cancel it since i have resigned, but then they still put me
to the training class. okay.... thanks. it'd be my last training course here.

then after that, i'd need to go to the KA House to submit documents..
i might not have time for lunch actually. i wanna drop by the airport office first actually..
i'd need to call the airport office to see if my permit is ready.. then i'd need to take it
to KA House as well. then i'd need to call the CBT program person to confirm he got my
attachment sent by tonight.

after all, then i'd need to wait to take my body check... and keep studying the pre-training
package. lots of information and need to memorise them. i m having a little problem
calculating the actual flight time.. especially if the GMT difference between the Dep and Arr
is not sharp at the time, i mean... like... Dep 0715 and Arr 0900.. 00 subtract 15... that
doesn't make sense?

anyway.... i should go to sleep.

i miss him. i keep thinking of him..

>>June 28, 2012 at 5:45:04 PM GMT+8

2012 年 6 月 27 日 星期三 【晴】

sigh...

i had lunch with *C today... i explained to her about my position and what i heard at work.
she knows me very well. she knows i'm not bullshitting her. i don't usually talk about ppl
in front of her or *M. so... if i'm saying this and still trying to protect the others, she knows
i m not faking anything or making up stories. i truly treat her as a friend, and i do care
about the girls at work, that's why i choose to be honest with her about what i saw and
heard. not for back stabbing, but for being true to a friend and for taking care of the girls.
i m not gonna be so crazy like the others taking any revenge after left.. but i'd be true
to her coz i trust her and she knows me. i didn't even tag any names about the stories
i have heard. i just wanna let her know the big picture. it's her responsibilities to figure out
what has been going on, especially i don't mean to harm anyone at all.
she seems alright. and my supervisor *M have approved my leaves finally.
thanks her and tanks God. i could proceed more.

then, i also started the CBT program tonight.. finally got the new password.
haven't finished yet..

you know.. i really miss honey a lot... how's he doing? where is he now?




>>June 27, 2012 at 6:11:49 PM GMT+8

2012 年 6 月 25 日 星期一 【晴】

i still couldn't start the CBT properly!!!! :'(
i'm so worried now. i m so much behind! some ppl have completed the task already
but not me :'(

work was crazy, coz of the bitches have been playing games again.
stupid enough. and i don't want to be there.. but.... somehow i get angry at what they
did to me and the others. i don't understand how come they could be like that.
i just couldn't figure out why... jealousy could drive them nuts to attack each others.
its nuts.

i miss him so much you know.... i dreamt of him... but he doesn't speak to me.
i know he's busy.


''愛情之所以神聖不可侵犯，是因為它是人最心甘情願的選擇，它體現的人與人之間的尊重與信任.
love is so special and unique, because people have a choice to choose to love or not.
and it reflects trust and respect.

男人靠征服世界來征服女人，女人靠征服男人來征服世界”， 所以一個已經征服了你的女人，
你一定要努力幫她征服世界。女人的夢想從不會因為和一個男人生活在一起了而消失掉，
只會因此而變得更加強烈。女人這種強烈的 願望和夢想也許不會表現在你的面前，
但你的心中一定要明白。
guys gain the world to gain the ladies. ladies are getting the guys for getting the world.
so if the woman is already obeyed and tamed, then please help her to achieve her dream.
she won't forget her dream just because she has met you. she would only want it more,
although she might not show you or tell you her wishes or dreams.

妻子是一個男人生命的核心，妻子生活得是否幸福，男人一定要關心。不要以為妻子取回家，
就是來為你服務的。每一個男人的妻子都會關心自己的丈夫，每一個男人也要學會關心自己
的妻子。而最關心妻子的事，莫過於關心她的夢想是什麼，怎麼做才能幫妻子實現她的夢想。''
a wife is the centre of a guy's life. you must care about your wife. don't take her for granted
like a slave or servant. every wives love and care for their husbands. so please pay attention
to your wife too. and if you care about her, think about what she likes or what her dreams
used to be. she might change, but at least you should know.''



i want to thank him for standing on my side all the time.
i'm not his wife, i am not. and i don't know if he would marry me one day.
but i do thank him for everything he has been doing for me...
well somehow... for himself not for me. but i do love him.



>>June 26, 2012 at 3:28:47 PM GMT+8

2012 年 6 月 24 日 星期日 【晴】

i woke up by the stomachache ard 6 this morning..
then i went back to sleep...
it's been quite stressful coz there's due date for different things..
but i can't process them coz it depends on the others and the time is so limited
coz i m still working everyday.. i have applied to clear some of my annual leaves.
i need time to do the stuffs. i m running out of time already.. hope they would approve me.

i m so exhausted... finally got through the phone line to make an appointment
for the body check... then finally got the late reply from the technician from KA
about the computer test problem... sigh... i m so worried i wouldn't have enough
time to finish all. then later on, i'd need to fill in all the forms and pick up my airport
permit from the office, then back to the KA house.. and also need to hand in more
documents... i feel so bad. i don't have enough time for that coz i m still stuck
at work. i fucking hate those bitches actually..

they are being so ridiculous lately.. i don't know.. it's just..... crazy.
they are crazy!! lucky that i have friends with me... otherwise its just... i don't know..

i miss him so much.... where is he? :'(

>>June 25, 2012 at 5:16:32 PM GMT+8