2013 年 5 月 28 日 星期二 【晴】

Mei Kwan... tomorrow please just do your best. dont back off, no fears.
if you cant even handle the interview, how're you gonna be a professional cabin crew?
have a good time. it's like a show, to let them see and understand you more..
they might find you appropriate for the role. that's all they want. they want someone to
fit in the role they want. so, is that you?

your honey is on your side, your family and the closest friends are on your side..
Gods knows what you're doing. you should listen to yourself, stay calm.
listen carefully from God, listen what He says to you...

No panic. just enjoy. you have to do this. Mei Kwan, you have to do this.
you can do it, you can do it, you can do it.



>>May 29, 2013 at 3:14:35 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 26 日 星期日 【晴】

i finally done my tax return form.... pain in the ass...
but then tmr i could focus on the prep for the interview.
i m nervous but... yea... just trying to do what i can i guess...... i guess.

hummm i m trying to be patient, waiting to hear from him again. i m very impatient, aint i?
when he's working so hard, so busy, all i do is just to keep sending emails... i kindda find
myself pushy. the thing is if he can or wants to reply me, he would have done it already.
so, there really isnt much i can or i should do... just be patient i guess... keep him informed
with things that's relatively important and hope he could understand i'm still here waiting
for him.. so.... when he's tired or in need, he could come to me. well, at least till we can see
each others again. i miss him so much that hurts sometimes, so i've been trying to distract
myself with my job, my family and friends. i love spending time with my family and friends
or even alone. i like my job. so... i m alright. but just sometimes, of course i'd like to have
him beside me. of course sometimes i'd get tired too, and hope that he could listen to me
or give me some support. hope he's alright there.. i trust that he'd get through all the hard
time then eventually becomes successful and could achieve his expectation of himself.
i know he could do it. i have faith in him.

mei kwan, you cant lose your confidence. plz recognise what u wanna do, what s your
dream, plz dont back off, dont be afraid. u cant be confused anymore. for your relationship,
for your career, u cant be confused. you know who you are. you dont need to panic.
God knows everything, and has everything in His hands. Trust Him as well beside him.

Dad's going on trip very soon.. i m a bit worries about him... really.. but i hope he'd enjoy his
trip. i hope he'd watch his diet, i hope he wont get angry easily. i hope he wont do any stupid
sports or anything dangerous there. i love my dad. i want him enjoy the trip and come home safe.






>>May 27, 2013 at 5:55:06 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 25 日 星期六 【晴】

today.... i got up 1 hr late. but i made it. i still had time to grab a coffee at the airport before
taking the crew bus to the briefing office. i set my alarm wrong last night. i guess coz i was
too exhausted yesterday.. i didnt make the calculation right.

i flew to Fukuoka today... it was okay.... full load for both sectors. demanding chinese pax...
crazy noisy selfish chinese on the bus........ stressful briefing, rushing for ground preparation,
rushing for service, pax kept doing things they are not supposed to. kept asking for extra,
giving me attitude... someone asked me for a sparkling apple juice. i was like... huh?
i know how to make it, coz i do it at the galley for myself sometimes. just soda water mix with
some apple juice. but the thing is its not company's standard. i cant offer to pax. i apologized
we didnt have it, if she'd let me offer her a sparkling water and an apple juice instead.
she could mix it by herself to adjust the taste and sweetness. i was very polite. and she gave
me those attitude and eye contact. then i poured a glass of soda water for her. then she said
she didnt need it. i said what about just some plain water. she said alright. then i gave her.
then i finished the apple juice already. i told her i could come back later for the juice.
when i got back to her, then she told me she thought we d have those cans of pop or special
drinks...... i was like......... hummmmm no, i m sorry, we dont have that. does she think she's
at the grocery store now? chinese ppl are really greedy.... the way they speak and ask for
stuffs are totally rude and.. i dont know how to explain...

i got a missed call this morning when i was on the way.. again when i was leaving the elevator.
i couldnt pick up..

FUK flight was a lucky flight, coz we got the chance to get out of the aircraft.
the thing is... even if there's nothing for shopping, still we'd like to have some fresh air.
maybe let me get a coffee or something. i'd really appreciate it.

sometimes... working could be stressful. for me, i m not seeing myself as important or professional
as the doctors, firemen, police officers, or lawyers... i m just a flight attendant. maybe for
many ppl, i'm just a waitress who works in the sky, or a girl who's trying to act with glamours,
or someone who would sell her body to some rich guy or even the cockpit crew.
no, i m not. i m just an ordinary girl who gets a weird dream to become a flight attendant, who
likes staring at clouds, and find aircraft amazing that heave metal could fly in the sky.
i m trained to do my service and in the safest way possible, and had some first-aid training.
trained to do evacuations and how to use pre-flight check and operate those vital equipments.
that's it. my uniform is nice and part of the stuffs that make us look good.
but i m not a maid. i m not. and stop ordering me to do this or that. go fuck yourself.
my service doesnt include taking shit from your face. you really are NOT my king or queen.

why are you missing him so much, mei kwan? you know this is not good...
coz if he knows then he'd run away. and u always tell him you miss him.













>>May 26, 2013 at 6:58:23 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 24 日 星期五 【晴】

i m too tired, exhausted. i only had 2 hrs sleep and kept waking. i felt like i didnt sleep at all.
flight got thieves again.. 4 of them, but we noticed them.. so.. we stopped them stealing.
its fucking crazy. and the ppl on the bus are extremely rude, i hate it so much.
i just wanna take a rest, but the ppl are so fucking loud. its like why the fuck do you need to
speak so loud?! are you fucking deaf? i really wanna yell at them to SHUT UP!!!!!
i had my uniform on, otherwise i was gonna be straight at them.

tokyo sandblaster.. when i saw it, i didnt know if it was a joke or the actual thing happened.
am i caring too much? maybe.. but i m so tired that's for sure. i hate it when i miss him so
much but i dont see him missing me as much. whatever. whinging is not gonna help.

i m just too tired.. maybe, maybe i d feel better if i get some rest or to relax.

>>May 25, 2013 at 11:37:53 AM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 22 日 星期三 【晴】

no call last night... humm it was my dad's birthday last night.
i didnt really want to celebrate since it's also my grandpa's death 2 years ago.
then after a month on my birthday, dad got a stroke. so, i really didn't feel like to celebrate.
dad didnt make any big plan as well. we just had dinner outside, we didnt have cake or anything.
i think i do appreciate the time we could spend together, i mean as in my parents are getting
old, not so old but still... they are growing old. and as their daughter, i m not doing so much for
the family. i m the eldest child of theirs, and of course i have higher sense of responsibility to
watch over things and probably take care of the family somehow. but i m not doing a great job.
coz i cant even take care of myself very well. i could but there'rent much chances actually.
you know, it's my parents' home, so we follow their rules. the rules around the house, the habits
that they created. how things work around the house has always been done by the way my
mom and dad decided, right? so.... suggestions could be banded ( most of the time). little help
could be worse coz it probably isnt the way they want anyway. but yea, i love my family.
i do want my personal space and time but still, as long as i m not married, as long as i dont get
super rich that i could buy a big house all of the sudden i dont know why, then i'd stick with my
family coz i love them.

Cyn's wedding is coming soon, i m not flying there to be her bride's maid. i cant. and to be honest,
beside holidays, if i have extra money, i think i d spend on the ticket to tokyo instead. i love Cyn,
she's been one of my best friends that we have shared laughers and tears together since years
ago when we first met in Van. we grew up a lot together. Ade, Cyn, Vic, and Cap have took
care of me when i was there needing help or a place to stay or someone to talk with...
they have been there for me. we had lots of silly moments too. those are very unforgettable memories.
i love them. i really do. and she's the first getting married. congrats to her truly form my heart.
i m so happy really happy for her. 2 years ago she worried she couldnt find another bf she told me.
and 2 years later, now, she's getting married. and she's happy. time flies and really many things
could change. ppl change... but we didn't change. there were times that she cried to me or i cried
to her. we complained about how bad ppl are or how sad things changed. but we didnt change.
we are still as close and pure to each others. i m so happy that our friendship lasts.

and of course, i'm happy that honey and i are still in love with each others.
after all these years, we are still looking at each others and still have that kind of connection
in between our eyes. sometimes we would get mad at each others, but i m sure thats based
on love and care. coz we didnt see or feel what we expected. and that's understandable.
we are honest and sincere to each others. and we trust each others, that's the most important
part. and he taught me that. there were many things i didnt know or never seen... lots of doubts
and uncertainties when i was growing up from my teenage life. i had my own expectations towards
life and relationships. i had my own ideas and concepts for different things. so, i didnt know
what to do, how to deal with things that didnt match. but then if i took the role of a third party,
which i m still learning everyday, i could see a different story. we have been together for
amost 7 years, i still love this man so much, and i m pretty sure i still would even after 10 years
or till my life would come to the end. i know i'd like to follow him even though he could be the
pain in the ass, he could be an asshole sometimes, but that's the man i love and i would even
be willing to scarify my life for. if i have a bag of chips, and i know he likes it, i wont eat it even if
i am hungry. even if i have the last bun, i would give him more than half at least.
thanks honey for his emails.. thanks him for the understanding and respect, otherwise, my
days without him are getting worse. thanks him for his wise and his heart. but i wont stop telling
myself to be independent. i dont wanna be needy. but i also wont stop telling myself to be a lady,
to do what a lady should do for her man.

i chose two gifts for Cyn. i m gonna send her tmr, and hope she'll receive it before her wedding.

last night no call, this morning and afternoon, i just hang out with my sisters :)
sometimes it's good to have sisters. they could be your friends and sisters. but you just gotta
protect them.










>>May 23, 2013 at 4:22:53 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 20 日 星期一 【晴】

have been thinking a lot lately..
Cas, i hope you can get into cx. it might help solving lots of problems you know..

i asked honey if he missed me... then he replied why i asked if he missed me, that's weird.
why would he think it's weird? why not just say yes or no... i told him that coz i didnt always
hear from him or telling me he missed me. and coz i missed him lots. is it just a guy thing?
doesnt he know i miss him lots and he doesnt talk much? sigh.

anyway... sigh.... very tired... being a cabin crew isnt easy at all. go go go cas... you can do it..
and whenever ppl said i'd promise myself to be strong and i can handle it, it usually means
you are weak. it's a lie... but if this lie could push you a bit to get better in future, it might worth it.
however, tough shit is tough shit..

i should get some sleep.... i had a massage at beijing last night but i didnt sleep well..
i dont really like to share room with the other crews.. its nice to hang out sometimes, but plz
give me some personal time and privacy. we are not going camping or anything like traveling..
we have to carry on duty the next day, and it's usually minimum rest for each overnight...
if i cant sleep then the next day i could work, but i'd need to double or triple my coffee dosage.
sigh... but she really wants someone to share bed... what can i do? we are teammate and
she's so young. i should take care of her.

i miss him, but i kindda feel like there's nothing much i can do. if he wants, he could email me,
talk to me or do something... but usually it's me trying to contact him, and he doesnt always
reply. it's telling me he doesnt care, or teaching me not to contact him. i know some ppl might
care even though they dont show. but i m too far away, i cant read his face anymore, i cant
see his eyes and jude, i cant read his body language. i cant touch him or feel him. please tell
me what else i can do beside email him and send him pic, take record of what's special of the
day and share with him. why not telling me wether i m welcomed or not actually? he seems
love me and would miss me when i was there, but when i m back here now i dont see much
that he misses me still. what's wrong?

good night, cas... get some sleep. plz be fair to yourself to your body. get some rest.

>>May 21, 2013 at 4:41:11 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 18 日 星期六 【晴】

sigh.... my lucky flight. taught me lots of stuffs again. great experience...
i think i m gonna use it for my interview if they would ever call me and i m that lucky to get
into the final-in again.

missing item found by me, got the suspect... called the police requested by the victim.
its just crazy. ppl really stole stuffs and..... tried to hide them inflight. crazy.
anyway... i m going to the police station tmr.

honey said he hoped i could get into cathay. i hope so too.... and i m looking forward to the
June's roster. i m not sure if he'd be free though... well, i dont mind if he's busy..
i just wanna see him, maybe spend a few hrs together before he sleeps. but i dont know if he'd
give me those few hrs. or he might prefer not meeting. i dont know...... i'd need to ask him
while my roster is out..............




>>May 18, 2013 at 5:17:39 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 16 日 星期四 【晴】

i m so tired.

i m flying mid-night flight tonight... hope everything d be alright.
A321 aircraft.. the aircraft i m most unfamiliar with.
yesterday flight was okay, but we got long delay at Nangjing. but the thing is... the pax were
sort of horrible. kept giving me attitude, not coz of the delay, coz they were rich and uneducated.
guess who they are? a bunch of middle age mainland chinese. freaking crazy. tried stealing
my stuffs too. and.... its like......... how much did you pay for the flight? you just paid for the
fuel, the cost of the the operation of the aircraft flying in the sky, for the custom, for the standard
portion and uplift for the food and drinks, you didnt pay for the whole kingdom or pay for my
dignity. you had no rights to even think about to order me to do some stupid thing for you.
you go to the lav to finish your business with the door closed and locked, and you go flush it
and wash your own hands by yourself. you dont need me to remind you the procedures and
still not following it and needed me to wait at the door for you coz you're that stubborn and not
understanding why you needed me doing that fav for you. and you shouldnt walk around when
you are not supposed to. not asking for extra things again and again or stealing stuffs.
you know why you're sometimes unwelcoming by the others? coz you are doing things that ppl
dont accept in general, not coz of any stereotypes. i m a flight attendant, i m not a fucking maid.
i m friendly and nice. and i m professional. i know what i m doing and when to stop you.
you can stop having your fantasy now.

i miss him lots.. but i dont know. he must be too busy...
im kindda wondering why he's not replying. but there's nothing much i can do actually.
if he replies he replies. if he doesnt he doesnt. i hope im not seeking his attention coz i miss him.
i just simply miss him and wanna keep our communication going. well, enough of whine.
maybe i m just upset of the fact that i miss him so much, but he doesnt seem the same.









>>May 17, 2013 at 9:44:45 AM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 13 日 星期一 【晴】

today, i went back to the office to return my old uniform then picked up my laundry..
then... back to the airport with Doris my little sis, then we had lunch there..
we hung around the airport, and went to the roof of the T2. it was so freaking windy up there..
so funny there as well. we took some crazy pics. then we took bus to Sha Tin.
while waiting for the bus, i saw Joyce!!!! haha.. how funny... i was looking at her while i called her.
then she found her phone from her bag then looked ard, she knew i was nearby!!! haha..

we went to the city super grocery store. i needed to buy coffee.. then we also walked ard
a few stores, then came back to Tai Po.. i did more grocery shopping, then came home.
i was so exhausted.. i fell asleep on the sofa....

i really miss him lots. i dont know what to say..
i saw his status on Line... it said 白。 i noticed that for quite awhile already..
yea, his pic was quite white too.. and mine was very yellow... well, he's white and i m yellow.
haha.. then just now i put ''you are'' on my status. ''you are white'' hahaha. do you think he'll
notice that? if he does, he might change his status..

CX hasnt called yet.... hope to be soon... sigh.









>>May 14, 2013 at 4:58:06 PM GMT+8

2013 年 5 月 12 日 星期日 【晴】

application sent successfully. good luck, mei kwan... 02:30 - May 14. 2013

my flight was still okay.... i made some mistake, learned some experience inflight..
and i was happy to fly with Oscar the female purser again. third time i worked with her.
and... our flight got hit by lightening 3 times... lots of call bells from 3 families.. it was tiring.
its hard to communicate with them, and lucky it was fine. some of them got issues.
it really was testing me.. then for the inbound, some pax was having headache and a flu.
he asked for medicine.. and i got questioned by the chief purser... and i wasnt sure about
my answer.. i m worried that... she might file a report for me. then i'd be in deep shit.
coz i m applying to CX, and they could see my record by just a click. we share data base.

anyway... honesy got the job i was so happy for him, i m still happy for him..
i miss him, and i wanna see him soon again.. i worry things might change.. i dont know what
he thinks about me. coz... since i m back, he doesnt really reply my email so much..
i mean.... he's very talkative in person, but when i m in hk, he doesnt always reply my email
everytime. so i dont know...... sigh.. i should go to bed.. i d need to go back to the office
tmr to return my old uniform, and pick up some stuffs then do some paper work..
i hate it... i hate using my personal time to travel all the way to the office to do work stuffs.
i hope i dont need to stay too long there... well, if i dont do it tmr, then i'd need to do it the other
time before my flight briefing. so it's still the same.

one more week, on the 20th, i'd get the June roster... then to adjust if we could meet..
well, on my side i mean... i dont know if he'd be very busy since his new job starts..
still, i m happy he gets the job. it's good for him. i want him to be happy.

night ...

















>>May 13, 2013 at 6:38:40 PM GMT+8