2008 年 12 月 31 日 星期三 【乍雨乍晴】

過去的一年真係好刺激, 亦都有好大的轉變。08年係剛剛投入社會的一年, 算是一帆風順, 雖然始終有少少遺憾, 但相比好多人, 我0既工作仕途經已說得上不錯。第一份工作係童軍總會做歷奇教練, 番工地點已經夠特別, 遇到的人和事對於一個剛畢業的人來說已經是十分精彩。最難忘的莫過於成個TOWER打完風之後倒塌下來, 場面壯觀, 兩隻狗仔的相繼離開, 亦是令人有點耿耿於懷。之後當中的兩次PI FINAL INTERVIEW亦可算是經典之作, 差少少, 就係差少少, 差少少就可以做到。最後總算有個尾糊, 做番個懲教幫辦仔玩下。08年的確是相當令人難忘的一年, 如果可以的話, 我想番番去童軍總會做一個歷奇教練, 但人工就要而家呢份~哈, 世事有咁完美就好了~

2009年, 我希望可以在仕途上得到更大的滿足感, 首要當然是要順利出班, 否則一切也是徒然。當然, 我要積極備戰, 今次要一矢中的, 成功成為一個見習督察, 今日FAX左份FORM去REQUEST番兩次FAIL的評核報告, 知己知彼, 百戰百勝。下年9月再戰PI~ 前幾日抽籤決定試更的地點, 我抽到第八個, 可以選擇我的FIRST CHOICE, 壁屋懲教所, 原因第一是始終對西貢有一份特別的感覺, 放工可以去番沙咀行下。第二是對於青少年犯人有0的興趣。19/1 開始實習兩個星期, 十分之期待, 因為唔洗番入去學堂, 過番0的正常人的生活, 要好好咁休息番兩個星期~

昨日和女友去了旺角倒數, 校服PARTY, 不過冇酒飲的, 全部都係基督人, 悶到我抽根。今日訓到一點先起身, 之後去左行左一陣, 睇中左一件G-200 BLU的樓, $750, 但係冇買, 因為睇中左好耐, 見佢有減價的空間, 最大的問題是我用得太多錢, 基本上上星期我已經用左一個月的糧, 所以我要有節制, 如果唔係多多錢都唔夠用。



2009年心想事成, 香港經濟好轉, 人人有靚衫著~~所有人都有工開, 冇人會餓死, 世界和平, 陳水X去坐監, 通佢老味櫃~~



夜晚睇standard, 讀左一篇文章, 頗有共鳴, 真係好鬼死q, 有少少道出心聲, 成日都有咁巧合的事。









There's more to life than making money

Holden Chow

Monday, December 22, 2008

Success is measured by how much you earn. This is a sacred principle in Hong Kong that nobody dares challenge. People who pursue their own ideals, rather than money, are regarded as a minority.
Talking with youngsters including teenagers and university students, I found most were quite concerned about their future career and were also bewildered about the purpose of their lives. Some wonder why they have to struggle throughout their life for a few hundred square feet of land.

Look at the graduates' job hunting phenomenon, for example. Despite the financial tsunami, countless high-caliber university graduates flock to apply for jobs in the financial market. The majority do not even have a clue about the nature of their work and, more importantly, whether these jobs suit them.

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The key reason to compete for a place in the financial industry is income and, perhaps, peer pressure. Senior management in the banking sector rarely live in places other than Mid-Levels and West Kowloon, and they are big fans of Porsche, Mercedes and Jaguar as well as regular consumers of luxury products. Any one of these factors is enough to lure the graduates.

Have any of them ever considered pursuing their ideals instead of entering the financial arena? I am sure at some point it crossed their mind but not for very long.

From many Hongkongers' perspective, US President-elect Barack Obama's story is unbelievable. Upon graduating from Columbia University, he worked in community service for a couple of years instead of entering the lucrative business sector. With a second degree in law from Harvard University, he stuck to his principles in serving the public and chose to focus on human rights litigation. Again, a much less profitable area compared with commercial and corporate practice.

Obama went his own way because of his values and faith. He believes he needs to look after the less fortunate and capable. He sets an example for others on social responsibility. He gave up lucrative opportunities and committed himself to community service at the start of his career.

Another example is our Legco president Tsang Yok-sing. He graduated with first-class honors from Hong Kong University in the 1960s. Back then, university graduates were scarce in the job market and were sought after by leading companies offering tremendous prospects.

Nevertheless, to the surprise of many of his schoolmates, Tsang chose to embark on a teaching career straight after college.

In the following decades, he witnessed many of his fellow alumni becoming senior managers, some making a fortune. Perhaps he was taunted by some of them, but this has by no means shaken his belief in the course of his career. It seems to me that if he were to choose his way again, he would do the same thing.

Obama and Tsang might be viewed as a minority in Hong Kong as will, say, others working for nonprofit organizations. If you are a competent person, parents and peers will convince you that you shouldn't waste your potential in matters other than chasing money.

But is this the only thing you seek? We have only a short lifespan, and we all attempt to pursue our own happiness.

Although money does matter, one's accomplishments ought not to be measured only in terms of money.

Athletes are not rewarded by cash but by pride in winning and satisfaction from their efforts after tough training. Teachers are rewarded by the satisfaction of educating students. Being brought up in a society engulfed in materialism, I fully understand the difficulty in not following the mainstream. But ask yourself: how much money do you really need in life?

>>January 1, 2009 at 4:34:35 PM GMT+8

2008 年 12 月 25 日 星期四 【晴】

聖誕節又來到, 今年特別珍惜這個難得的四天假期。自從27/10號之後, 我覺得自己失去了自由, 每日都過著受約束的生活。話就話五天工作天, 但係就每個星期五都唔可以走, 要星期六一早八點鐘先放我地, 星期日夜晚又要番入去。雖然係咁, 但係都已經習以為常。以前我考生考死都係為左考入去紀律部隊, 目標只不過係唔想做一個老散。但係而家反而有一種欠缺存在的感覺, 雖然人工唔錯, 但係唔知點解成日都好似有點鬱鬱不歡, 或者係因為考到先可以講呢0的咁0既0野, 三皮野一個月其實真係冇咩感覺, 今個月出糧, 還左兩萬蚊學費, 跟住再係百老匯買左部NOTEBOOK和4IN1 PRINTER, 成份糧咁就冇晒....

我其實都有少少驚, 講到尾我都唔係咁想係懲教署, 而家唯一可取0既其實就係份人工, 有時候回頭一望, 以前係個島上面自由自在, 話晒事, 其實真係幾逍遙~相比係而家0的教官, 以前個無理取鬧0既上司根本就唔入流。但係條路係自己選的, 我可唔可以離開懲教署就要睇下我下年考唔考到個PI。我都唔知自己算唔算得上是不知足, 可能到時我考到PI, 我就會上升職, 慾望係無窮無盡的。0個日院長問我地:「有冇人入到離我諗住第時自己做署長嫁?」我有諗過嫁講堅, 我真係諗過自己會做警務處處長, 但係機會率我而家知道係好徹。

而家做左幫辦, 每日都要被思想改造, 成日都話:「你咁樣第時點樣帶兵呀?!」,「你地第時係官, 要有番做官0既款!」「幫辦主嫁喇, 有時候唔係下下要人地鬧你先識得做嫁@@!」 「做錢解決到0既問題就唔係問題啦, 三皮野一個月, 洗來洗去都係面0個浸0者!」而家個感覺就好似一個足球員, 好辛苦先被選入國家隊, 奈何明明係踢前鋒, 但係教練就安排你踢左閘, 0個種感覺就好似「雞肋者, 食之無肉, 棄之有味」的感覺。早幾日我收到POLICE的REJECTION LETTER, 終於都收到, 係一件好事, 起碼我可以知道下次幾時可以再APPLY, 我有時都好驚, 我唔係驚考唔到, 而係驚到時我做到之後, 我會發覺原來跟我所想的係另一回家, 好似而家咁樣.............

俾人叫得多阿SIR都真係有0的厭, 一日我都唔知聽到幾多次 「YES SIR, NO, SIR, SORRY SIR@」
係學堂唔識英文冇所謂, 最重要識呢三句說話。早陣子學堂頒發長期服務獎章俾班做左超過十八年的老臣子, 見到好多大人物, 有好多感觸。平時係我地面前好有款的教官, 見到0的三粒花, SUPERITENDENT, 都要恭敬有禮, 平時係學堂最大的校長, 都要陪署長做跟班, 我地呢0的所謂0既朱粒幫辦就更加係微不足道。個感覺就好似玩鬥嚴棋咁, 幫辦仔就俾大幫食, 大幫又俾三粒食, 我當你做到署長咪又係俾0的局長食, 到最後好似阿曾特首, 倒頭來最怕0既咪又係香港市民, 根本就係一個循環, 權力會使人腐化。權力和金錢其實唔成正比的, 有0的人你叫佢去做高官佢睬你都傻, 佢係出面幾百萬年薪, 但係亦有人會放棄高薪去做官。早排聽收音機, 陶條話美國總統一個月0既月薪都只不過去廿萬港紙左右, 同我地0既副局長差唔多, 但係個影響力和權力就相差百倍。




假如一個犯人係怕人鬧, 又或者鬧佢係有用的話, 佢就唔會成為一個犯人。





>>December 26, 2008 at 2:02:25 PM GMT+8

2008 年 12 月 14 日 星期日 【晴】

琴日星期六一朝早六點幾起身集隊, 然後八點離開赤柱, 飛的番上水。之後和女友去左探沙田阿婆, 然後下午就先去旺角買對禮服鞋, 跟住再接上堔圳按摩, 行程緊密。難得可以無拘無束咁放一次假, 因為唔洗溫書。夜晚十點幾番到上水, 然後又再直接出左去尖沙咀見一見0的大學同學。差唔多十二點去到, 之後喪劈左一輪, 一點左右就收左皮, 動彈不得咁訓q左係到, 成條死屍咁。鑊鑊都不勝酒量倒下, 不過今次都好似快得有點兒誇張, 有早洩的感覺。一路半昏迷到四點幾, 期間都唔記得同邊個講過野, 不過隱約記得飲過杯熱茶。如果齋飲啤酒應該會嘔, 不過今次飲下紅酒, 又飲下芝華士綠茶, 所以冇嘔, 但係個頭就好撚暈。飲醉酒真係好辛苦, 但係未到頂0個個moment其實係最好feel的, 下次都係要控制一下, 唔可以谷到盡。之後四點幾醒左, 其實都仲好撚暈, 但憑住我堅強的意志力走左去打的番上水, 仲識得講舊錶七折~ 原本諗住去旺角再搭紅van, 但係覺得好撚煩, 又要排隊等, 所以又豪一次飛的番上水, 最後都係$183only。

今朝訓到九點幾急尿醒左, 一起身又暈, 仲有0的想嘔, 之後再訓, 訓到一點幾起身, 好番少少, 但都有好多後遺症, 唉....下次都係唔玩通宵, 正常地我只係得星期六晚係可以訓一個舒服教, 但係我都冇珍惜。不過下星期和再下星期五都可以夜晚走人, 好野~~希望聖誕快0的來臨, 因為可以連放4日假, 對於我來講實在是最好的聖誕禮物。

想買部電腦, 諗緊買notebook好or mini notebook好, 正常買notebook0的feature勁0的和抵0的, 但係我既然有隻全天候上網USB手指, 人地係火車玩NDS, 我就拎部MINI出來上網睇YAHOO, 幾型呀, 贏晒!!! 不過都係要三思而後行, 今個我實在胡亂花了很多錢, 連自己都唔知自己銀包有幾多錢個感覺係好冇安全感的。平時夜晚PERMISSION OUT出去食飯, 次次都係赤柱廣場食埋0的貴價野, 埋單一次過碌成千蚊, 之後0的人夾錢俾番CASH, 攪到個銀包成幾千蚊係到, 好撚誇張。琴日食LUNCH食個爛鬼咖哩飯加杯野飲都成舊水, 我下個月要做番個節儉人, 我咁大個仔都係第一次自己打的由非新界區番上水~

>>December 14, 2008 at 4:49:59 PM GMT+8

2008 年 12 月 8 日 星期一 【晴】

入左來都有個半月, 已經習慣左這裡的生活模式, 其實最大問題都係訓得比較少, 每日平均五小時, 不過睡眠質素頗好的, 一落床幾乎就可以訓得著。有時候都覺得自己幾幸福, 雖然我對懲教署始終忠誠度不足, 但近來聽收音機 (冇internet之前就係靠收音機, 與監犯無異) 知道市道差, 又裁員, 都覺得自己幾幸福。係到做個高薪的清潔工人, 番學仲有錢收, 算係咁嫁喇。

早幾日出左糧, 第一次有三萬五千幾, 但係唔夠三日已經被我揮霍左一半有多。找左0的街數$8500, 跟住又還學費$10000, 然後又添置左幾件冬衣, 咁又冇晒錢。之前我去旅行真係計到好盡, 戶口剩番$21.9, 幾乎要問promise借錢, 痴撚線的。而家我放假都冇咩奢求, 最enjoy0既都係訓番自己張床, 可以訓一個自然醒的教係我唯一的願望, 所以任何通宵捱夜活動我都唔會參與。

呢個幾月裡面, 叫左好多聲gd morning sir, 亦都被人叫左好多聲gd morning sir, 我係阿sir, 呢個係事實, 所以有時候點都要扮下成熟, 雖然我知道到死0個日我都係個kind子。有時候夜晚晚係房到, 望住自己件制服, 肩膀上多左少少野, 但係個意義就非常重大。以前我死考難考, 都係想自己可以去到OFFICER GRADE, 而家去到, 我又覺得只係得一粒花好KIND, 朱粒幫辦永遠都係最戇尻, 因為官階又高過晒0的撈左十幾廿年的老散和沙展, 但係就嘜尻都唔識, 其實換轉角色, 我係個老屎忽, 我都睇唔起0的死0靚仔, 但係最重要的就是懂得替自己定位, 我係幫辦, 就自然有0的野我係做到佢係做唔到, 要成長的最大原素莫過於時間。ANYWAY, 如果我下年4月出班, 跟住再去考番PI, 俾我掂左, 我又要TRAIN多九個月, 我都唔知自己係咪仲有咁0既魄力。

有時候都覺得自己係上天的一隻棋子。



「我將來要當一名麥田裏的守望者。有那麽一群孩子在一大塊麥田裏玩。幾千幾萬的小孩子，附近沒有一個大人，我是說 — 除了我。我呢。就在那混帳的懸崖邊。我的職務就是在那守望。要是有哪個孩子往懸崖邊來，我就把他捉住 — 我是說孩子們都是在狂奔，也不知道自己是在往哪兒跑。我得從什麽地方出來，把他們捉住。我整天就幹這樣的事，我只想做個麥田裏的守望者。」
J. D. Salinger 施咸榮譯本《麥田裏的守望者》

>>December 8, 2008 at 4:32:29 PM GMT+8

2008 年 12 月 5 日 星期五 【晴】

今日我毅然申請左3的無線上網計劃, 而家我可以於受訓期間都上網, 實在是一件大事。從此我又可以回歸現實世界, 始終開住個msn先有存在感的~yeah!

>>December 7, 2008 at 5:19:15 PM GMT+8

2008 年 11 月 8 日 星期六 【晴】

星期五下午去左做毅行者義工, 懲教署包左成個2號補給站來做, 所以我地0的學仔要去幫手, 不過都好0既, 起碼可以星期五晚番屋企, 差好遠呀真係, 星期五晚番屋企同星期六晨早番屋企真係差好遠, 如果次次都可以星期五晚回家就好了~ 番到屋企緊係狂訓啦, 彌補番5日的不足, 真係從來都冇試過咁掛住屋企~

不知不覺進入第三個星期, 開始習慣左呢種生活。間房靚就靚喇, 200呎, 無敵大海景, 不過好多野都係假, 朝朝都要將間房還原成一個指定的standard, 所有擺設都跟足尺寸和指引, 要27個人都一模一樣, 其他唔關事0既0野要用自己的方法令佢消失係視線範圍之內, 簡單0的講, 每朝0650, 如果你合埋眼行入是但一間房, 係唔會分得到到底係咪自己間房。朝朝0530起床, 每日上堂上到下午1730, 有時候唔好話街外人, 連我自己都唔明白點解晚晚都要攪到十二點一點先可以訓。每日有一半時間係放左係清潔自己間房, common area, 燙衫等, 要做到完美基本冇可能, 所以無論間房整到幾乾淨, 都仲會有不足之處咁俾人小, 而家又漸漸開始要背例, 所以能夠訓4個小時已經係好好。

不過話時話, 雖然訓得咁少, 但係個人唔知點解係感覺上健康左和精神左, 因為可能日日都太有規律, 0530起床, 0630食早餐, 1240食午餐, 1900食晚餐, 日日如是。第一個星期俾0的教官鬧得勁0的, 但係第二個星期佢地已經冇咁惡, 因為始終係officer, 見到0的老散俾人鬧到隻狗咁, 我覺得自己已經係好幸福, 有時候官階高0的就係高0的, 0的沙展教官雖然惡, 但係都留有預地, 話晒都係高佢一級, 第時出到去, 都要記住, 粒花係焊死的, 唔係流嫁, 我理撚得你撈左幾廿年老屎忽, 高你一級就係高你一級, 做官要有做官的氣勢, 平時kind下kind下冇所謂, 著係套制服, 膊頭托住粒花就要交足貨。

每日上堂步操都佔左一半時間, 我真係幻想緊26個weeks之後, 帶住班老散操出去操場時0個種昂首闊步的姿態, 一定係好威風。呢兩個星期上班房堂其實實際野冇咩學到, 不過就聽左好多監獄入面的真實情況, 係監獄實在太多灰色地帶, 0的犯一個月係入面搵到0既錢可以等於我地一年搵到0既錢, 我都好想快0的去visit, 然後三個月後去實習, 去感受一下存在於社會的第二個世界、 次文化。

0的人話做懲教好過做police, 我地對犯我地係莊, 佢地係閒, 我心情好我可以放佢, 我心情唔好就咩都ban佢, 唔需要理由, 做police就要對市民, 扮死狗, 其實係真的, 不過, 我始終都希望26weeks之後, 我更有能力去勝任做一個police inspector。



加油呀!~~阿黃~!~!~!~

>>November 9, 2008 at 8:16:47 AM GMT+8

2008 年 11 月 1 日 星期六 【晴】

合理的是訓練, 不合理的是磨練, 無理的是試煉。幫辦, 從來都不易做。唔可以再從一個老散的角度去諗野, 要宏觀, 要目光遠, 呢個星期好辛苦, 每日朝早五點半起身, 夜晚一兩點先訓, 但係我認為, 如果連自己都冇時間觀念, 自己套制服都燙唔好, 個人行出來都冇官威, 膊頭又邊夠力撐起粒花。老散要做清潔, 幫辦都要做清潔, 仲要做得更好, 更快手, 要教人做一個好蛋糕, 必須要自己識整一個好蛋糕, 顯淺的道理。


修身、齊家、治國、平天下。

>>November 2, 2008 at 8:25:40 AM GMT+8

2008 年 10 月 24 日 星期五 【晴】



我的軍刀

>>October 25, 2008 at 3:10:44 PM GMT+8

2008 年 10 月 22 日 星期三 【晴】

去左瑞士咁多日都冇打日記, 因為每日番到HOSTEL都太累, 加上時差, 但係我覺得我拚埋條老命都要話一件事俾PERM0既同學仔知道。話說17/10我去赤柱出席懲教主任入班前的BRIEFING時, 我見到大學的同班同學




OWEN







小小的BRIEFING已經感受到0的教官有幾難頂, 好難想像26WEEKS到底會係點...............

>>October 22, 2008 at 6:51:03 PM GMT+8

2008 年 10 月 15 日 星期三 【晴】

呢幾日都好夜先訓教, 半夜係到打winning, 我而家的生活就正正好似上年畢業之後, 又搵唔到工, 係到等IO結果時的一模一樣, 唔同的就係而家上晒軌道, 不過回想番上年, 的確係可以用魯迅的名著<徬徨>二字來形容, 雖然叫做考到個懲教仔撈住先, 人工又唔錯, 又可以去下旅行周圍玩, 係就係好撚寫意, 不過之前捱過幾多, 受盡幾多, 堅持幾多, 除左自己又點會有人感受得到。事情發展到呢個地步, 係時候要學會放下, 拎起難, 放低更難, 我要承認PI的確係時不予我, 「坐這山, 望那山, 一事無成」, 所以今日開始我要抽離, 專心一致去做一個懲教仔, 一年後定必東山再起, 英雄造時勢。

今日又一如以往打算起身睇楚漢驕雄, 誰不知原來今日係曾蔭權條粉皮的施政報告, 好彩一開電視就剛好係長毛發顛的時候, 又係一貫以往的作風。之後毓民和大舊又發爛, 社民連三巨頭相相離席, 毓民仲扔香蕉, 我覺得佢好撚無禮貌, 雖然扔唔中廢曾, 但係都好不雅。之後詹培忠又跟風企起聲發言, 不過被警告後坐番低。以前0的人話長毛呢樣0個樣, 上屆立法會宣誓, 長毛一條友係誓詞到加料玩野, 今屆佢一如以往, 跟住黃成智、黃毓民、陳偉業、何秀蘭相繼跟風, 事實證明, 長毛只是走得太前。佢做0既野的而且確係冇直接幫助, 但係我睇唔出乖乖地坐係到聽野0個0的粉皮可以做到0的咩, 事實上保皇黨已經有足夠票數去擁護或否決所有政策, 立法會投票根本就係一場SHOW, 唯一可以做的就係用民意向政府施加壓力, 廿三條立法就係一個很好的證明。

點半鐘去撚左馬仔記食食物, 食完之後肚痛, 仆佢個街, 燒撚左佢間舖。然後去上水廣場痾屎, 好在小弟內功深厚, 排出毒素後便復元。之後番屋企小休, 然後重裝出去尖東海旁影相, 拎埋腳架。去到天未黑, 影到天黑, 影相的確係一門學問, 但係幾好玩, 見到好多攝影發燒友, 佢地0的裝備更強, 又有閃光燈, 又有好多支鏡頭。

然後係坐天星小輪去灣仔, 跟住去銅鑼灣和 舊同事打邊爐, 味道唔錯, 任食離講算係幾好。自從0個次$810, 我對打邊爐有恐懼。食完之後番上水, 跟住去左翔到拎件COLUMBIA縷, 抵禦寒冬, 為瑞士作好準備, 不過瑞士其實都唔係太凍, 但上少女峰應該有機會去到零到。不容有失。





我見到林峰扮無情個死樣就真係想作嘔, 痴撚線, 佢點可以演得咁撚尻? 我好想死









>>October 15, 2008 at 6:17:57 PM GMT+8