2005 年 9 月 6 日 星期二 【晴】

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
They're taking me away

How I used to be
How I used to be
Well, I'm just a little unwell
How I used to be
I'm just a little unwell

>>September 6, 2005 at 4:55:55 PM GMT+8

2005 年 9 月 5 日 星期一 【晴】

PERFECTION

time is never enough for me to use
cause I'm stubborn
when something I think it should be done before I sleep is not yet done, I'll not sleep
but the point is those things I think should be done before I sleep are never will be important
double fab.


I just cant continue acting in this stubborny stubborn way.
( Well, I'm "continuing", it's 3:18 in the morning, see, if I dun finish this diary i'll not let myself sleep )
I hope I'll have this greatest attitude on earth towards my homework.
anyway, there are some more REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS for me to do before i can sleep.


It really sucks that when U know something is wrong but u just dun even ignore it
cause u just ignore to ignore it.
Dunno why in my mind doing those things with the most importance in the
world and the universe beyond before I sleep is so obvious to me,
but at the same time, is so wrong for me.
What in the name Sir Elsie Fenning i'm thinking ???????????
Oh, the answer is so straightforward that I like to do obvious wrong thing..........
Bloody hell.

And what make it worse is sometimes I just want something ( which is not important of course )
to be perfect or I just keep on checking the details ( not important details, you know )
so that everything exactly goes on my way without a tiny little dirt. Double marvy.

And what always happened is I spend 2568 hours to fix something but no one discover the change. Good grief, triple fantasticity.
__________________________________________________________________________________

I'm pretty much learning AL applied maths and pure maths in the last few days,
the subjects I was forced to study and not good at, whatever, I'll workhard anyway,
try my best to win the great civil engineers in the 2010s
but I'm not making a good start,
I had no idea what in the name of Madam Leon Whatsit is the professer taking about
and even worse, I fell asleep for most part of the lesson.
( that doesn't mean that I'll understand the lesson if I dun fell asleep.
It was so unlikely to be happened actually......I mean to understand the lesson )

________________________________________________________________________________

I'm again obssessed with Georgia Nicolson these days again.
I think that's why I suddenly use this tone to write my diary.
Dunno why, or may be I'm used to the style of the book.
I smile much more than before when I'm reading the book.

And may be I'm affected by the book so much..........
u know there are many exchange students in UST.............um..........
and u also know western girl.................um.............are usually fatter and with big .........basoomas
u know ......the girly thingy.....
and nowadays when I see 2 balloons .......ur ........hanging around,
I'll uncontrolly glazed at them........with curiosity
( for god sake I'll never think that is adorable,
and when you thinku can put a sandwich between them.......erlack.....)
I just wonder when the girl move, do they.....u know......the balloons .....will............
nunga nungas......
vibrantly
it's so weird that I got this curiosity, thanks to the book.
what in the name of Keneeth Cole Whatmaganta I'm thinking ?
_______________________________________________________________________________

It seems that people dont like Eng diaries, I wanna who will read this entry

I hope that I'm not sexual harassing people, especially those who live in Bassoomas Territories.
I dun think I have done something mentioned in the E-mail from the u about sexual harrassment, right??

er.....right????

whatever, it's my diary anyway

>>September 5, 2005 at 8:08:52 PM GMT+8

2005 年 9 月 4 日 星期日 【晴】

幹! 眼光光了一整晚
看來今天課堂也只有打瞌睡的份兒..........

>>September 5, 2005 at 12:16:59 AM GMT+8

2005 年 9 月 4 日 星期日 【晴】

我 D 固執又黎

明明可以早 D 訓, 但就硬係要做埋 D 唔趕住做 ger 野

聽日, 上堂肯定又恰 lar....

>>September 4, 2005 at 7:34:06 PM GMT+8

2005 年 9 月 4 日 星期日 【晴】

時間唔夠用 !
時間唔夠用 !
時間唔夠用 !

>>September 4, 2005 at 5:37:13 PM GMT+8

2005 年 9 月 4 日 星期日 【晴】

時間唔夠用 !
時間唔夠用 !
時間唔夠用 !

>>September 4, 2005 at 5:37:11 PM GMT+8

2005 年 9 月 2 日 星期五 【晴】

以前我如果上堂識唔到人, 可能會覺得唔開心

但我今日上堂除左同 wadee 同堂0個堂講個野外
其餘都可以話係一句都冇講過
但係我竟然唔係好尬懷
可能一黎係我0係到專心聽書,
二黎係我仲有 KTC 同學, 我係有 D 太倚賴佢地
三黎係時間尚早

人地個個有去 O camp, 一組組組左, 好多都己經有伴,
冇伴0個 D 又好似唔會 arm 傾, 要識人真係有 d 難度
不過我諗遲 D 情況會好番 D ger

好怪, 我諗我0係 KTC 都算係好出, 會 join 好多 activities
但係黎到 UST, 係唔知點解有 D 怯, 好潛0下

不過今日同貴姐 join 左 dance so
爲自己 ger 大學生活加番少少色彩先

如果個 bridge club 唔逼我 pactise, 我都會 join ger
仲有 magic club 都想 join

civil engineering re-u night 係有 d 想去
但係如果成個 department 都唔識人, 又一支公衝左入去, 好似會好難頂咁
去唔去好呢???
__________________________________________________________________________

係又忽然間覺得自己思想好幼稚
又係忽然間覺得我 D 家人會覺得我思想係唔夠成熟 =.=

>>September 2, 2005 at 7:34:19 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 30 日 星期二 【晴】

ai...........想買0個個袋 2日就唔見左


跟住著住對新鞋第一晚就踩膠 =.=


死喇, 我發覺我係屋企係好 hae 呀 =.=

>>August 31, 2005 at 5:08:11 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 30 日 星期二 【晴】

唔知點解好唔開心

由 jupas 冇 offer 到要讀一科又難讀又辛苦又冇前途又冇 sense 又唔鍾意 ger 科
到忽然覺得自己身體真係好虛弱到自己 D 頭髮係咁甩

真係搞到我好唔開心, 好明顯我係 EQ 低
諗起就有 D 想喊, 成個女仔咁

呢十幾日, 同朋友去街講電話係有好多覺得好開心 ger 時候
但當自己一個0係屋企, 就硬係冇咩心機, 可能係同我呀媽有少少彊有關

我諗如果我0係大學讀得好開心, 讀得好好, 或者成功 transfer 到, 或者知道自己唔係脫髮
或者增到十磅, 咁就會令到我開心番

真係廿萬個希望0個個 hole 係不嬲都冇頭髮, 只係因爲冇咩點留過長頭髮所以留意唔倒
係我自己太敏銳, 係我自己太敏感, 係我自己太敏感

arm arm 睇番中三 D 相, 發現0個時 D 頭髮都好似同而家差唔多 ger, 希望係真 lar
我......20 都未夠 =.=

仲發現倒另一樣野, 當時得 103 磅 ger 我, 係一個肌民
而家正正係有變做肌民之勢 =.=

爲左保護我 ger 頭髮, 我決定暫時唔染唔電
可能成世都要剪0個 D 短短地, 用 clay 整一整起 0個 d 咁既髮型架喇

>>August 30, 2005 at 6:42:17 PM GMT+8

2005 年 8 月 30 日 星期二 【晴】

我成個人好似係未老先衰, 我諗同我 ger 壞習慣有好大關係
但係我又真係唔覺我 ger 生活習慣同其他人有咁大分別
又唔見其他人同我一齊脫髮

我而家真係一憶萬個驚自己脫髮

如果你身邊有人係成功頭髮重生, 唔該通知我, 我唔係講笑

that hole on my head is freaking me out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

身體咁差, 幾叻幾靚仔幾有錢都冇用
再者我唔係叻同唔係靚仔

GOD BLESS ME, I WANNA DIE IF I'll BECOME A BALD IN 2 YEARS
REALLY, NOT JOKING, I WANNA DIE

when the shape of my teeth and my jaw become great, my head gets bald.....perfect timing......
( become great is just only my expectation,
may be the result of my surgery is getting a more ugly shape of jaw and teeth............
dun wanna think of it....................erlack)

GOD PLS DONT PLAY ME, 100000000000000000000 PLS ( useless )

>>August 30, 2005 at 6:08:04 PM GMT+8