緊張
其實到現在還是經常在精神繃緊狀態
I feel jealous of those ppl who dont feel nervous at the scene
每當自己壓抑不住
便會expose this unstable emotion
when there's a new task
usually I really feel nervous at first
try my best to suppress
始終緊張還緊張
事情還是需要辦好
至少不想讓人覺得我是騰雞
希望過多3年我會變得對突發事件完全不緊張
aroma
can make me feel better.
so perfume is v. important now.
i dont feel that nervous when I smell it.
feel v. relax and comfortable
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
昨天行街
很久沒有花錢
差不多成個月gum 濟
以我這種性格
那是不行的
立即隨意買了支香水
很清淡
都幾鍾意
sales 都好courteous.
of course.
凡是香水都是高檔野
原本lum 住買支方便的走珠形
ar! 點知竟然無我想要的scent
why does my life always put me in dilemma ??
唯有被老屈買支大裝
跟住好悠閒地行來行去
試了幾對鞋
發覺週街都是羅馬款
又不想要了
其實羅馬款已經是上年流行
今年繼續已經是很勉強了
算吧
反而買了我自己style 的鞋 (what is 自己style? :p)
看中了便落訂
........always out of stock..for the things I like.
過一兩天去拿
又看袋
我想我要一個mini-size bag
the bigger bag I use, the more things I put.
I can't be like that always.
it hurts my right shoulder.
不過不合心意
最後夾埋糖趕番home dinner
要再shop 過!! .\_/.
>>July 11, 2010 at 1:55:57 PM GMT+8
2010 年 7 月 8 日 星期四 【晴】
sigh
上埋d 賣豬仔summer course.
ridiculous.
this is really not an efficient use of manpower.
and reflects a v. silly low b management.
Italy could feel there's sth strange abt me.
she asked if I was sick.
actually it's just becos I didn't wanna talk too much
cuz whenever I speak, I dont wanna say rubbish.
that's gd for them, but not for me.
突然, 或者我這樣想
教好d tutors 也是做福人群吧!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[body msg]
had drama in the afternoon.
an infinite sign freezing pic.....
what did that mean
the shaking hand.
I realised it until it shivered a little bit...for quite a while.
ur body betrayed u.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[coincidence]
and what does that mean
for ppl who relate to the same melody at the same time.
how frequent does coincidence occur in my life.
I guess I have relatively much higher frequency of occurrence.....
and so it shows ppl could reach mentally at a particular time.
and y
If somebody's mind is too strong,
can s/he pass msg through brains?
just like ppl sending sms through cell phones..with the media of air, satellite,etc
my mind is in chaos, cuz my brain works as a cell phone at the moment.
and what's the media?
>>July 10, 2010 at 3:31:05 PM GMT+8
2010 年 6 月 30 日 星期三 【晴】
[last smile]
今天睡得不舒服
喉嚨痛到火燒
像cutter 割了好幾次
以後真的要好好保護my throat.
I shouldn't shout.
腫了喉嚨
然後變了有點傷風bacteria 入..
so now I can't recognize what kind of throat problem I have
成個人都呆呆的
didn't do anything...and dont want to do anything..till now
tmr is society game day. I need to make some simple games for drama clubs.
still thinking of some gimmick things
坐著呆聽 'last smile'
想不到已經十年了............
這首歌是2000年出.
然後我看看日期..it's 2010 now.
feel like time flies.
想不到我也有十年回顧....
Love Psychedelico...10th Anniversary Concert
big poster in MTR
lit up my desire to watch it.
都是這首歌我才喜歡Love Psychedelico.
那種感覺....
it marks my 14 yr-old life.
然後一過便是十年.
一聽閃出很多flashbacks, 醒覺過來便已經是很多loops....
I feel bitter, dont know how to say
dont know y every morning they say I always look very happy
but at least I've infused some positive energies to the surrounding
不過 I wont see her problem is minor
cuz I also had a similar one when I was at her age.
fdship family studies..fussy things at puberty
佢覺得朋友不喜歡她了
覺得朋友厭佢煩
所以她便不想再找她的朋友了
每次輔導同時也讓我成長.
cuz I look back again and reflect.
that's not bad, but time consuming.
it's a tough job
I'm selfish
I feel like I'm going to burn out to help ppl
I can't even manage myself.
I dont wanna counsel ppl at the moment
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
成功了:D
對卷日下課時學生走來給我一隻手
我有點愕然
這是時下青少年表達謝意的表現嗎
然後我伸出手跟他握握手
he shared his success with me :)
I heard that Dong Hung said he never got passed in Eng since primary sch
he reached 50 marks in G.E. this time.
congratulations to those who really gave a little try before the exam.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[most inner forces]
when ppl ignore me,
I feel really bad and confused cuz I've offered the best;
when ppl put me in the first priority,
I just dont feel I deserve it and try to give it away;
I'm so complicated towards this feeling
and put myself in a lost feeling all the time
and in fact I've been so contradicted on this throughout years.
just like two strong forces opposing each other.
sucks.
Love Psychedelico performs better than Avril.
cuz she doesn't shout.
I wish if I could see the light of heaven
>>July 1, 2010 at 6:38:21 PM GMT+8
2010 年 6 月 29 日 星期二 【晴】
summer finally comes
I can feel that
esp after all the exam marking and marks excel.......lots of fussy stuff
bright sun
hot days.
can't breathe
I hate it
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Last Monday met Winky and Avis
thx for the really wonderful musical photo frame
i'm going to print out some 2R pics for that..
and let it swirl on my office desk
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
throat is hurt.
cuz the mic is broken
I gotta shouted all the time.
god.
hope it's temporary
I really care abt my throat muscle
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
the society is getting sicky
借$200買菜留案底
if this is the case..
y should we work for the gov?!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Social Classes]
ay 負責請part time 工友叫我陪佢In 人
其實我都係陪坐,因為對於這種事工我甚麼都不懂
so before walking into the medical room,
i just thought maybe I could say sth in between their awkward silences, if there were.
feel 到佢有d 緊張
不過都問得幾好
起碼食住個勢去問
不過他們講講下我竟然覺得有點sad.
總是覺得我們憑甚麼去check ppls' eligibility...
why do I teach and they clean the mess I leave in the classroom.....
有陣時自己覺得學歷這東西is nth.
不過原來對某一群人可能就是everything.
cuz it really differentiates classes...
i always understand this.
but was just feel more impressed by this interview
so next time I'll do better for the Moral and Civic Edu
cuz I'm responsible for the classroom condition
students should clean up their mess before they leave.
cuz the janitor have to clear the student washroom and all the classrooms on the same level
and after all it's just one to two hundreds' pay.
這次體驗很新奇
it's inspiring
but once is enough
p.s. ah, in France, ppl dont call then cleaner.
they call themselve 'service technician' :D
is this true...
there's one experienced colleague
I've never thought of....that outstanding.
she's really really really powerful.
I really really really wanna learn more from her.
I'm trying to understand the pattern she works out things.
extraordinary organized.
how can someone be like this...
is it inborn logical...or becos of series of drilling.
my feeling to her is that...
she can master lots of information at a time... the mindset is clearly formed once perceived and she can change the structure of mindset immediately..to the best presentable way.
god...the above process is done while I'm still mastered and confused by the new information.
I really like the 'air' she has.
fair, calm, selfless, serious, brave...in a soft way.
it's nice and sophisticated
though a bit too much
maybe to some ppl it's not quite approachable
but I can understand it
cuz it's due to the culture of a girls' sch.
unconsciously strict and restrain one-self's attitudes and values.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
um..其實是不是真的很重要呢...
I am confused
at least I need to use my brain to think.
some ppl said 你做mud 咁緊張呢............
其實我很不喜歡別人這樣說, cuz they dont understand me.
when I really act, I feel I'm very calm.
maybe before I act, I have lots of consideration..that's true.
我只不過是語氣上比較有感染力吧
總讓別人覺得我很驚.
she said: guys from girls' school must either be v. feminine or boyish.
忍不住問: 咁你覺得我點呢?
silence for 2 secs
hahaha! looking at her immediate response
that means I'm not on the extremes.
i think it really depends on the situation I'm in.
at least, when I'm with the kids...I feel l can't be like a lady :p
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today is a busy day again.
In the coming week it's busy too cuz need to mark all the papers within a week.
dictation X100
G.E. X100
Listening X100
Writing X 70
other than the above, multi-tasking 又開始
and father's day...celebration as well tonight.
努力!
>>June 20, 2010 at 7:22:00 AM GMT+8
2010 年 6 月 18 日 星期五 【晴】
Chicago
sexy and humourous
but the ending was not as gd as in the movie.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
actually every year it doesnt really sound special.
just a rice pudding.
the one I love is Shang Hai rice dumpling.
the traditional salty one is really gd
but I can't eat it anymore.
I could only find it in old grocery long ago
it doesnt have green bean inside.
and not much filling inside
I just have one mind.
if my students do ONCE understand the things I've taught.
whether they still remember or not...
I'm satisfied.
I got a beautiful photo frame from my students.
it's her artwork.
and a letter inside
I've to say she's a really v. pretty girl...among all the girl students I've ever taught till now
but of course I won't say such thing in class.
I like that photo frame v. much
cuz it's made of tiles
that I've seen before in another sch.
didn't expect to see that kind of thing again
actually I really love art & music.
just love to appreciate them
but dont wanna create one.
every morning I met the gals from my alma mater.
I rush like hell
and then I thought,
'I'm the one who runs pass u.....I was used to be like you, and you'll probably be like me some days later'
isn't it ironic?
and then I saw some old ppl.
I feel sad
cuz they dont deserve this.
no one deserves to be vulnerable.
and as a member of society,
we walk pass
and witness all things happened around
the more we reflect...the less the things we could do
the society is getting old....
trees are usually regarded as the oldest, wisest and strongest, as if a kind of spirit
and it just collapsed.....
until it comes the second time..and killed the second person
I realise that it's a v. strange phenomenon
I was taught 十年樹木, 百年樹人
is it just a legend?
and y....十年樹木, 百年殺人.
I dont understand.
I think trees and humans should always be friends.
threatening lots of ppl,
it may lead to a massacre of trees!
it's ridiculous
the world's getting weird and the ppl have gone mad.
we start to kill plants now...for the sake of not to be killed...by plants.
and now I doubt with lots of queries.
iceberg melts, weather changes, people change...
lots of things are out of expectation
nth's stable, nth can be a golden everlasting quote
no constant thing.
no securities
the tough things are fragile
and we are so vulnerable.
and start to believe and do nonsense things
cuz the world's out of control
and we can't control ourselves
and eventually I can only take the role of a passer-by
who's just luckily not involved and walks pass... but with some feelings.
let's call it a night.
>>June 16, 2010 at 4:28:23 PM GMT+8
2010 年 6 月 14 日 星期一 【晴】
sleep little
cuz the exam has started, not that stressful anymore..
today I think i got to be one of the latest ppl who left the sch
cuz there were no. of kids needed tuition before exam.
Chicago
made me recall the movie I watched with Auntie
and the last song " Hot honey rag " is her favourite part
I watched it on youtube again
the dancing is v. gd..
still yea...I enjoy a lot and miss her a lot
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I always support Brazil for World Cup
though I dont see the guys are competent this yr.
I'll be v. happy if Brazil wins
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I would feel better if everything leaves and comes naturally
>>June 14, 2010 at 6:44:44 PM GMT+8
2010 年 6 月 12 日 星期六 【晴】
[廢苦]
屋企真係無個幫得手,maybe except housework.
this wed thur fri I just had 10 hrs sleep in total.
星期五我由8am 講書講到7pm幾乎無停過
那天成7堂...然後放學後補課+補習3 小時
因為考試前夕,學生個個都想補
幸好我那天EQ 還高 or maybe i was too tired
沒有很大脾氣
except in the last lesson, 學生整爛我新買支無線mic
I had just used it for 5 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was FURIOUS!!!!!!
鬧到幾乎標眼水
因為最後一堂...我還以為支新mic 可以留到下年用
I didn't expect it's out of order again
I'm really super angry
Fri night slept early
Sat felt sick
today need to finish up the work.
mother 幫我攞d 私人資料去copy
竟然讓文具鋪老闆拿回自己家印
叫佢20 mins 後come back
說店裡因為有人印緊
[nervous]
sigh
[廢苦]
http://www.schsa