the 5th cry will be on the day I leave I'm sure.
I'm damn tired now.
>>November 7, 2007 at 4:57:30 AM GMT+8
2007 年 11 月 5 日 星期一 【乍雨乍晴】
11月6同日續..
i feel so hungry, e+ 為了避嫌我都不太敢下樓拿食物..
sigh 好彩開櫃桶I found that last 3 little packs of chocolate wafer from my real aunt
佢對我就真係好啊, prepare so much for me
無怪乎我臨別時候喊了幾個鐘搞到機發燒都值得.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
after all 我終於鼓起勇氣...say sth that i wanna say for 3 yrs....
"我真係無辦法忍受你對我o既attitude.你對strangers 都會有respect, then how come no respect to ur own friend.你係車度gum 鬧我. 我唔慣同人對罵,所以你見我唔會點答你, I would just say I'm not sure abt the criteria of the presentation.
ok, even u're right, u didn't have to get mad with it.反正 we not in a debate.
其實直至車上你講話within group present 我才get 到你的意思話係present for 5 ppl only instead of whole class.
你個日係車度with no respect 同我講野令我覺得成個trip 差晒, on the way to home I think about the value of our relationship for a whole night.
in fact, there're no# of classmates ask me to separate with u since yr 1.
你撫心自問, 我都無對過你太差, 呢幾年好多野我都係就你, 但係我覺得如果真係做friend 有d 野係要fair 囉
好似o黎度cananda, 你有無話過陪我去邊?
之前thanks giving 去montreal 我等你答覆搞到我情緒低落...你一時話maybe go, 到好後期才話host 問題唔得, 幸好我個aunt 突然叫我去Vancouver 才解決了.
趕車係重要. 但係有時候去第二度行下係咪真係gum crucial?! 8 個字如果你叫我陪你等我都肯,當然唔係要求你次次gum 做, 你lum 下黎度gum 耐你有邊次特地抽一日同我地出去? Janet 話u go to montreal cuz the whole class 都去. U can't refuse it. I dont know, and dont want to think abot it
但是有時候係bookshop 看看東西你都會不耐煩, 但for ur own stuff like for ur sis then u're willing to stay.ok , I let you go and I stay in shop on my own. In my mind 你只有趕車最重要.
佢地話你just顧自己. in fact 我都覺得你無mud 從我個角度著想過. U seldom think of whether I like to do it or not, or convenient or able to do the things. even sometimes the situation made me embarrassed.
至於你host,
而且我唔想成日比較誰比較可憐. for what? 你host 對你不好我不會覺得開心的. just like u paid her a pillow 我都直頭想走上你host 鬧個女人. 你話探我host..我第一次聽到覺得好奇怪, why didn't u say u visit me. I'm ur friend. 我聽了5次都係探我host, everytime 也是right after u said abt ur poor meal. So I wonder u just wanna come to make a comparison between our hosts. 我真係忍唔住先問你究竟探我還是探一個你唔識的女人. on the car 你也覺得很愕然吧, cuz in ur heart u dont ever think abt me. This is kind of reflection. 直接點說u just use me. I'm not clever but not stupid, I know which words are true..cuz there are lot of contradiction in ur words. whether u wanna me to visit ur host is ur decision. if u dont want me to come 我也不是o出o出逼人的人. Uncle 做手術剛剛出院是真的, that's y 才不想騷擾他 at the moment, 但最主要係我聽了5次也是just about food abt my auntie. U made me feel really bad. 你話你遠,40 mins a bus, n u said ur food in host is so bad, 仲擔心你無野食for the trip, 我都同你lum 埋breakfast for the trip. 仲要stand in supermarket choose for an hr to see which u can eat. otherwise 其實我求其買完走人. 我halloween 個日仲搞到遲晒大到for Irene's date.
不過最諷刺就係你從你host 帶來的食物其實遠多過我....no matter how u fight for them. 雖然不是很好吃的食物,但至少夠飽,right? 反而我host didn't give me much and I got to 捱餓then buy food.
u dont have to hide your food or ask me to walk away and have a walk in shop. I dont like to count and compare. 其實我好想在這裡have a great french meal. when u said u're not going to have i felt disappointed. but of course, we just have limited budget so i won't force u. and also I dont want to buy stickers in late nov in fact. it's so late for me. I always feel like 有好多時候我就你就到開始覺得難堪. 所以我會直接講不如分開各自去買算. 之前2個月, 我都是同alice 佢地出去遊覽..你都明知我根本dont like her. 但係我根本無choice. cuz I know u're never willing to accompany. 我覺得好辛苦.我明明同一個學校最familiar 的人去外國. turn out 我係覺得最alone. sci museum 我都無expect 過你去..all the tickets on my hand except we'll rock u show u may go , others i have no confidnce to sure that u're likely to accompany me. I dont know ur definition on Friend. but for me i dont think we're.
i think we're a gd match on project. as a working pair is gd, we can still work on the hw perfectly in future if u like.
but if u say as fd, i think u need to think abt that both parties need to somehow sacrifice a bit....of time of resources....in certain way.
我2份assignments都唔做打email 到差不多3am 2hrs 覆你. hope u understand I have limited tolerance too. if u talk to me with a non-fd attitude. then i really can't bear it.
when i back from the trip i felt bad
becos of lot of things.
1. 食什麼法國大餐,食o左我$40,食C 也沒有這麼唔抵,sigh...還是返香港食法國菜好過,把鬼食o甘豪得jar 薯條
2. 人離鄉賤
3. 旅行團is really so rush, o岩婆婆or C Lai maybe....not for me...30 mins for a spot includes going to washroom and we were like ducks pushed by the tour guide. 我想我影d 相要上網對番what famous buildings they are....=_=
4. I surrender. 我真係無辦法忍受Grace. 車上佢鬧完我之後just make me more determined to 絕交.
總是不明白人是這樣想的, 他們可以對一些stranger or unfamiliar fds 有禮貌, 友善, 但是對真的close 的friend 呼喝, or 很重語氣地反駁.
o甘我情願全部朋友都是疏遠點那類
cuz 至少I can see "Respect" among strangers.
5. 破財用過了3舊(CAD)...(心想for what?...當大家都認為HK$2000 內搞點)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
back to home
1. 功課好多, but I'm not happy so I 放低hw...最多做通霄.......ji ma...反正我都zZ from 10-12...now start.....我set clock 6次, 第6次終於get up 到. 2230, 2245, 2300, 2330, 2345, 0000...becos later than 0000 I 'll have more serious psy. pressure
2. 又開alarm. I can't stand with the buzzing....I just came back home.
至少uncle 做手術,我個日halloween 特地臨黃昏放學仲走去買卡& his favourite snack (chocolate cakes)
選了成2粒鐘遲了食飯胃痛又遲了同Irene 的約會.
如果偷你野......無可能o甘好戲寫卡慰問你.
我第二日上堂都仲係度寫卡,番到home 還繼續寫.
然後我第三日早早6am just zZ 2 hrs就出門
exhaust and back home
不久就聽到dd 聲.
although at the moment I'm not 100% sure it's anti-burglar alarm....
但是真係好annoying...dd every 8 secs
but anyway, so far 他們是有教養的人...談話都還是很nice.
行為就..
anyway ,sth's changed, feeling's changed.
我還會覺得他們很好人...不過就不是我like 的了
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我有開始覺得這裡的人不是人
that's y I 'm listening heal the world from michael jackson.
otherwise 我遲早都會wonder who I am.
我有d 同學真係好賤
on halloween Irene and I chatted on a bench in the park under stronge cold wind =_=
Irene 's bf mailed her a box of chocolate.
she said inside there're 60 pieces 然後她就每日吃一塊倒數
因為食完之後就差不多要回來HK
然後拿個同學Ealways look down on Irene ,&唔信she got Godiva chocolate就challenge 佢:
有幾大盒呀?
幾多塊先?
你自己買ga?(cuz she doesnt know it's actually a gift)
仲要問Irene's fd to see if Irene really got that.
so she cried while we're chatting on the bench.
突然間我都覺得在加拿大日子都好苦...每天對著這種人會好易發瘋
我看同學E的樣都知佢cheap
但係唔知有o甘cheap
好彩我從來都唔同佢講野
因為I dont feel gd when I see her face.
成班人都是人格有問題的人
just like I ask my companion Janet that is that a clinic?
she said yes
I said ic, then can consult doctor la~
然後她說o下! 你有病呀?
繼而彈開起碼5個腳位 I'm sure 可以用尺量度...
真係好現實.
我好平靜跟住話: 唔係...just Irene's fingers are burnt, I can tell her abt the clinic.
她才閃番過o黎
....this is just v. little part of 人性醜惡 among my group of classmates.
still lot but I have no time & mood talking abt it.
that's y I always say the peer relationship is really poor here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
just got Grace's email for sorry
今日我全日都沒有理會過她
since the last day on bus I said Drama presentation really eat C becos I have to copy things for the whole class...how many classmates are there in the class? (因為這裡copy 都好貴下, $0.09/sheet)
跟住佢係車上突然發難好惡o甘話: 你講mei 呀?! 我咪話jor係5個人一組圍內present 就得la!
我的EQ 還算好...我話我唔知道,但係我聽到係present in front of whole class. in that way i need to prepare more copies...if just 5 ppl then it's easy. I think we need to ask Lorna.
其實佢gum rude 同no respect 我已經起火了. cuz 我根本之前無聽過佢話only present within small group. 就算講過都不應該用呢種態度同我講野.
我覺得我只係容忍度我boss 這樣鬧我
我都係keep 住說I 'm not sure either.
I think I need to ask other classmates.
and she got even more angry.
ok then we got off the bus and back home.
she's really a black spot of my trip.
cuz on the way to home I felt angry.
and I just started to think abt our relationship.
一向我就慣佢, 所有搵笨野都係我o肯
so I'm really a water fish for her.
反正絕了交又不是我loss.
最重要係我番黎成晚都下唔到氣
otherwise 我都不覺得個trip 太差.
其實今日我問過同學..個個都話in front of whole class.
that's y I felt more angry that how come I was 無辜地scolded in public.
I dont care who's right.
her attitude was extrememly poor.
I couldn't bear it.
the whole day long I didn't talk to her.
and then no one else wanna talk to her .......
所以收到her email to say sorry.....is sth that can be expected.
我覺得佢真係好黑人憎
今次應該輪到我鬧番佢轉頭了.........
>>November 6, 2007 at 6:44:07 AM GMT+8
2007 年 11 月 1 日 星期四 【乍雨乍晴】
Karen: thx soooooo much! alarm o左幾日之後又沒有再開了
之前好似真係唔見野
maybe 其實係佢自己找不到
now 又沒有dd聲...i dont know.
everything is fine again now.
halloween I took some picture, not many.
There were really many children came to knock the door
and auntie gave them boxes of smarties kaka :D
some pictures show the kids dressed up
I should describe more
now here is 13:36
星期日加拿大會行慢一小時..全世界(加拿大人)都要調校clock one hr earlier
好似好有趣
每年都會賣晒報紙通知大家要adjust time.
that means on Sunday 0000
we need to change clock to Saturday 2300
所以start from Sunday (Canada's Sunday),
the time between HK and CAD will be 13 hrs difference and not 12
所以又麻煩了..
becos 我要count 時間才知道HK time
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I just packed everything becos I'm leaving to Ottawa again
then Montreal
Quebec
Kingston
and return back to Toronto
it's a tight schedule
Uncle 做前列腺surgery
我探唔到佢but I had written him a card anyway.
it's beautifully decorated.
功課極多
所以最近其實好辛苦
加上要每天洗碗 n 看電視
之前重要實習
真係好辛苦
lesson plan 非常順利
host teacher 說the students were actively engaged.
我的unit plan is about advertising.
when i said give me 3 brands names of perfume
girls are already yelling anna sui...gucci.
when i said fashion magazine.
a naughty boy said playboy...=_=(this boy is from afternoon class)
afternoon class although i taught the same thing, 出來效果不完全相同
afternoon class has more boys..so need more classroom management and therefore they were not as gd as morning class.
現在這裡很冷
abt 0-10
but 0 is at night.
and at night i'm not outside.
so I'm fine.
i think this week is abt 7 degrees la
but as it is windy (the wind is like typhoon 8 in hk =_=)
i feel like just 4,5 degrees.
所以香港第日打風我想我也不會覺得很strong.
becos here 經常都windy.
都幾得人驚..
我餐餐都食得好
訓就ma ma.
cuz yesterday I dreamt the day I say goodbye to my host parents.
I cried up. so didnt' sleep well.
加幣升到8.1xx shit the currency.
我其實好想take some picture of those bottles of maple syrup
becos I dont know if my girl friends like them.
不過, 我after 5 hrs 之後又去trip
所以我會想想還有什麼手信買了
ok. I'm really lack of zZ and in rush.
goodnight
我總是覺得有些不很好的預感.I dont know y...not relate with host
becos it seems nth now.
不過我會小心d la anyway.
there's so much things I really want to say..........time is such a precious thing..
>>November 2, 2007 at 5:56:20 AM GMT+8
2007 年 10 月 24 日 星期三 【乍雨乍晴】
since their son couldn't find sth in the basement,
so surely they would think about me.
their anti-burglar beep is always ON from now on.
I'm sick with it as it keep beepbeep every 8 secs.
I have a headache.....
although they're still good to me, I feel like sth has changed...
becos i'm sensitive.
anyway, I'm innocent so I'm not going to do anything deliberately for defence
and I'm really so damn tired everyday.
washes all the dishes...then watch tv with auntie ...abt 11,12 then i can finally return to my room and bath and hw...
so it's even more lack of zZ than in HK.
cuz I zZ at 2xxam
and then get up at 6~11am.
so for the days i just sleep less than 7 hrs...
I'll feel really bad cuz I'm so exhausted.......
my brain doesnt work at the moment,
i need to take a nap anyway...
Fri I will start to teach 14-16 yrs old kids.
although I've done part of my lesson plan,I'm a bit worried.
it's 10degrees now..but i dont feel as cold as in HK indoor
cuz here the heater is on.
outside in the mid-night it will drop to 3. but i will never feel it la.
day time today was 14degrees..but i wore two pants...how silly.sigh...i thought it's 4..but 14..
so there's a big range of temerature between day and night here.
已經報了團去3days 2 nights
to ottawa montreal quebec and kingston.
其實ottawa 都去過了...
錢都俾jor...but just 覺得有d 唔抵lor....
而且boat tour is canceled due to winter time.
我只有2/11 and 30/11 不用實習,otherwise 一早就去了...
假期就是這麼多
我要開始教了...next week
好緊張
as they may speak better than I do.
they 're new immigrants to canada.
但是程度都有level D (A-E)
所以我都驚
不過,他們的grammar and organization are really weak
i hope it won't be too cold there...last time in Sep it's really so COLD
now it's cold already..but as it is autumn...it sometimes so warm...sometime freezing cold that i 've never experience...hands are just like taken out from the freezer...
November is a super busy month ....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Today I went to the castle, high park and china town
i'm really tired.
and there's so much hw
oh god..auntie seems coming out
i just stop here then..zZ
>>October 21, 2007 at 7:36:05 AM GMT+8
2007 年 10 月 17 日 星期三 【晴】
just woke...it's 0638 and just had a bath..
too tired these days.....
我正在想.....一個日頭番工...夜晚打理屋企的女強人真是好強
我覺得我日日返學..放學....趕番屋企
and then 放低d 袋in bedroom & dress up
好快已經要: ALICE, the dinner is set, come down
我就次次都: ok, i'm coming~
the time was half past 6 usually
就dinner....餐餐都有8,90分:D
然後就緊接tea (cake/fruit,fruit,tea)
and then it's my time to wash dishes...abt 10 dishes, 30 utensils,3cups, 2 pots...one cutting board......(3人份量就用這麼多碗碟) and some of them like pots are needed to be dried by another cloth.
and then i'll wipe the dinning table....and kitchen desk....this is what I used to do although they dont require...but when I see sth dirty then i cannot tolerate.
this takes me an hr to finish.
then i may wash my underwears or have tv with auntie..today with uncle "deal or no deal" at 8pm (一擲千金)
then jump 茶遞水 (今日就攞部按摩機for auntie becos her back is painful) came to 10...i fall zZ on sofa...so auntie called me to bed....
今日真係頂唔順...too tired..becos i had 2lessons from 930-530...
平日if just one lesson..then I can stay up to 12 am for watching tv.........(12 is also too tired for me)...
生活在這裡無expect 到gum 忙碌...
我覺得好似那些女強人...她們日頭番工...放工仲要煮飯洗3湊仔...再服伺埋老爺奶奶的話...
oh god.
我建議努力d 番工請個工人算了.......
cos 我E+ only study + kitchen duties +take care of myself + watch tv ......
dont know if 外國地方大,日日走路多太累...or what...
總之我日日都好疲累.
不過這種辛苦又唔會覺得唔開心...cuz not a big pressure.
or maybe it's just started for a short moment..
maybe 我習慣午睡..這裡不好意思午睡
they dont have such habit...
oh it's 7 am now...i gotta zZ
I slept from 11-5...but still tired.
1030 have to get up
cuz I need to go to apply a tour at 1..
hope everything is fine...gdnight
>>October 18, 2007 at 11:04:00 AM GMT+8
2007 年 10 月 8 日 星期一 【晴】
the trip was wonderful..although all day rain for the only 2 days I stayed.
cried a lot at the end of saying goodbye, it's sick! from 1600-1900 could not stop...feel v. bad of this kind of my own weakness
made the man on my left side and woman on my righ side feeling scared..
so still feeling sick after a zZ
seem fever on the plane
and now still feeling my head is so heavy!
In the province of British of Columbia, male cousin drove me to 3 cities: Richmond,Vancouver and Westler.
I feel I'm so blessed, full of love everywhere here. even when I came home. auntie put a paper with "Welcome Home Alice!!!" on my rabbit on bed!
and in the kitchen there are full of muffins (which auntie knows that it's my favourite tea cake :D)
she made so many blueberry muffins!
how come it's so gd this yr??!
and I ate lot of gd stuff..woo.
I'm doing BIG HW..God I didnt do much due to the trip
>>October 21, 2007 at 7:17:23 AM GMT+8
2007 年 10 月 5 日 星期五 【晴】
6-8th Oct Vancouver.
i need to get up at 5 but now it's 2:11
sigh
extremely tired
goodnight
>>October 6, 2007 at 6:12:16 AM GMT+8
2007 年 10 月 4 日 星期四 【晴】
今日wendy said we could leave earlier
so we skipped the tutorial and left sch at 6pm.
今日啊,我1330 出門時候auntie 突然說,I want to tell u sth.
tonight we would like to go to a chinese restaurant with u before u going to Vancouver.
so come back home earlier if u can
oh I was so happy and I said thank you auntie :D
i said but when i came home it would be 8 oclock already :(
becos host family used to have dinner at 6
so they must feel v. hungry.
that's y i said maybe need to be late wor...(maybe next day?)
then she said: it's ok, we'll wait, just come back whenever u can.
Oh, so I gave her a big hug and said thank you very much
becos I feel so touching and grateful for the things they do for me.
In that 四川restaurant called 大金華
we had 2 big dishes, one is ginger beef (crispy) Very GOOD, another one is like 炒公仔麵with shrimp, vegetables, beef and chicken.
each of us had a small bowl of soup too, it's 酸辣湯 :)
then we had 2 bowl of rice sharing.
dad said 滋油地: I dont do ordering..you ladies order.
I feel so full.when finished, still have orange and a biscuit
the biscuit inside had a paper...written "Others appreciate you more than you think." :D so cute.
auntie's is " your humour will make one of your fd happy" :p
um...i dont know...埋單都我估$30CAD...thank you~
in the end. we just had some chatting...then say to a part that auntie said:..oh I'm not attach to you anyway..ha..
then uncle said: then why do i pay for the meal every time
HAHAHAHA............we just burst into laughter and auntie laughed so loudly that the whole restaurant could hear it.
cuz laugh too nosily, and a bit embarrassed, we left earlier, i said I had forgotten to return a bk and i need to return it..so plz just drop me at the bus stop and i'll take bus to school myself.
then auntie said we'll take u to yorkU cuz I dont want to drop you alone outside.
they drove me to sch..that time was abt 9pm already.
and we got lost cuz yorkU is super big ...i think 有幾個郊野公園gum 大
then we ask a guy. and his car lead us to sch Vari Hall(where the library is)
then uncle drove into a "Only buses strictly allowed in"...
and i got down the car.
auntie said: or do u want us to wait u here?
I said no becos i dont want to bring u inconvenience.
and v. soon , a red security car announce with mic "a vehicle 違法進入此區"
oh it made me so worried abt them
so I returned and tell auntie and uncle the way to leave sch.
架食C 車一路跟住them until they left school 範圍.
so many security there at night ..maybe due to the rape case 2 weeks ago..
afterall i return my bk and took the bus home.
when home they said they wrongly went to other place..
so I arrived just right after they arrived home (I feel so sorry)
at night auntie watch tv.
and I help uncle to change bandage and put on anticeptic cream
so his ear has a wound for a month already.
so everyday i'll help him put on bandage
i hope he's wound will be healed up before i go back to hk
佢隻心臟病藥會令血小板減少,that's y the bleeding is on and off always.
auntie said the pillow also have blood and need to change always.
his ear hurt cuz the scissors from the barber .\_/. what a barber!
before zZ i said goodnight and thank you so much
and she said u're welcome, it's our pleasure to have a lovely n funny student :D
I always feel they're lonely, when I'm not watching tv with auntie...she falls asleep on sofa..like tonight.
yesterday we laughed a lot on tv, so today morning she still talk abt it and laugh a lot
tonight then go to zZ quietly
有時我都覺得幾可憐
in fact she's v. bored when no ppl talk to her.
loneliness is sth v. bad.
that's y I want to stay with them more
i need to wake at 6 now it's 2 am sth
but i really would like to jot down this.
今日我好開心
I love them
goodnight~
btw...now i 'm more used to hugging.
becos...i dont like hugging with ppl.
but u know, it's a v. common practice there.
avis also said it before.
but u know...到你真的開始接受...總要點時間,cuz whom u hug is someone u just know for a while,isn't it?
just like today..morning when I'm still wear my pyjama, i met their son jimmy...he opened hands...
i'm so thinking :so what??!?!what do u want?!
so..alright then...
then i met their daughter then ok i hug her...just lightly.
then my host mum and dad
of course i usually give big hug to host mum.
All becos I feel so grateful to them.
呢度d 人對我真係好ar... :)
講就話外國人很獨立,其實他們真的很願意照顧別人
even my foreign 師姐....
I'm gaining weight now.
現在5pm 已經日落
11月6同日續..
Karen: thx soooooo much! alarm o左幾日之後又沒有再開了
今日wendy said we could leave earlier
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