然後他們說他是校長.
我不認得.
總之原本我都不打算說Hello,
但吃了藥把腦袋裡面the first millisecond 的想法都說了出來.
就像別人啪丸呆呆地 high high地
另外有個男人我很不喜歡他(但我這兩個月要日日對住他)
我覺得我們完全是"話不投機半句多"...
他真的是第一個令我有這句詩詞在腦海出現.
我覺得他真的好煩.
佢覺得自己好有point,好有taste. 我好辛苦....因為他說每句說話我都接不下去
e.g. he showed us the art work of his students.
我便說有些學生他們的畫真的畫得不錯,一看便知道在出面學過.
他說唔係ga, 有d 學生求其畫,但係其實係大師級作品佢o地自己唔知道, 如果你試下用放大鏡看那是大師級作品..d 線條好靚....係一級作品!
我=_=....我心裡想你慢慢放大.或者將你副glasses 變成magnifier, 可能醜女也變美女.
他還用一個例子去解釋: 有個藝術家曾求其把地上執來一個尿壺放上桌上然後簽個名然後說是他的作品,他說這個是很出名,震撼藝術界
我一直聽其實真的覺得很辛苦....我說我畫畫呢方面不很熟悉他還get 不到我不想再說.
但今天談話中也把我不喜歡他的意識透露了出來.
搞到很尷尬
又有個女人......但沒有他那麼煩.
他倆很雜...我同佢o地係水溝油.
唉.
我明天不吃藥了.
隻藥太強
............但我真係好討厭佢地呀!!!!!好辛苦呀!!!!!!!!!!
都唔arm channel !!!!!
我現在放學都要兜路走好折墮.....第一次佢等我一齊走...車上他不停說自己的外國經驗..
我已經累到死上車想睡他又不停說說說說說....說canada, australia, england & new zealand 的accent.
yesterday i discovered that everywhere started to have some Xmas feeling around.
mtr i could listen Xmas background music.
I could see Xmas cards in shop
I could see Xmas TV ad
I could see Xmas chocolates boxes in ParknShop
and I realise Xmas is coming~
I LOVE XMAS MOST :*
the feeling of Xmas is so GOOD
but this year Xmas must be boring. cuz I'm in school......having teaching practice......with that two guys.
today's lesson was just a mess. F.4 class has a very poor attitude towards learning.
v. low motivation.
i have to sleep or else I'll make many more mistakes tmr.
>>November 20, 2008 at 2:09:36 PM GMT+8
2008 年 11 月 18 日 星期二 【晴】
心理狀態還好
身體就很麻麻..cuz i got serious cold today
poor performance in school cuz i had over 100 times sneezing
i did wear enough but I didn't have enough rest.
..........現在覺得心煩.cuz i dont know how to START to teach...
i think she should let me observe for a few lessons first, so that i can understand more abt the class and take a better approach...............
sigh.
想買3 也無mood 了..她還要我用games on first day.
games!.........then how can I build up authority??
我唔build up authority 之後真係唔洗教
最怕supervisor 來時見我classroom management 唔掂會肥我
我就要讀Year 5我一定喊.
things around keep changing from time to time,
they give me exciting experiences in life;
but on the other hand, I lose all the securities of future.
that's y some ppl do believe in fate.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sat or Sun I'll see my baby nephew v. soon :D
but start from 17th, 我會非常的忙,忙忙忙.....忙到我的生日左右便完成實習.
這間school calendar 假期不多.
而且Xmas 要交功課..邊教書邊讀書其實真的很辛苦.
我還有一共4,5份大功課未交.
之前做的功課都夠辛苦,但相比之下,對於黎緊的faeces似乎以前的thesis還是碎料
esp. counselling 那份功課好harsh.
所以我終於明白點解有中學老師同我講counselling 最惡啃!
原來係份assignment 超級惡啃!...if just listen to the lectures, it isn't that bad.
我下個sem 還有兩個electives!! GOD!
>>November 14, 2008 at 5:59:53 PM GMT+8
2008 年 11 月 11 日 星期二 【晴】
交了兩份功課始終完了件事
過了這星期這個semester 又告一段落...of course 還有很多shitty asignments to follow up.
然後天氣轉冷
and tmr 我竟然不想番學.
還有今天執衣櫃,我發覺自己都有幾多3.....
也throw away few.
明天要繼續執埋佢
有些summer and autumn 3 是之前覺得漂亮買下來的
可惜我從來沒有穿過.
因為我都忘記了.
summer 的待番工再穿吧.
autumn的這幾天穿~呵呵
有點不舒服,gdnight
>>November 11, 2008 at 5:44:04 PM GMT+8
2008 年 11 月 7 日 星期五 【晴】
吊頸都要透透氣!
好疲累.這個禮拜特別exhausting...因為為了兩份功課都已經忙得我死
especially the time spent in library.
剛剛終於做完了writing unit plan~ :D
昨晚採取分段制睡眠時間, 2xx很累走去睡,630起身,
吃點東西就做3小時,才睡2小時,
再做and lunch 再做then finish.
Fri 本來打算走堂,不過d lecturers 好奸, 一句"i'll talk abt the assignment"
想走都唔得..可是又俾佢騙了..竟然臨到放學才說如果有問題about assignment, 可以send email...because the instruction is quite clear, have you read it yet?
=_= 呢d 就係所謂o既"吹脹".................
其實我一開始便儲定quota, week one 堂堂上足不走堂
就是為了week 9 or 10 閃人做功課.
anyway, 我都預了Monday 還在趕這1500字,
所以Monday 便會走晒d堂,然後5pm 我就會交功課.
過埋下星期17th我就要實習了...sem 1 都完了...時間過得真係快!
take a nap first,
dinner 後開始research.
不過我真係唔識點做... 100words/hour 我怕我真係做唔切
>>November 8, 2008 at 10:22:17 AM GMT+8
2008 年 11 月 4 日 星期二 【晴】
四年來最白痴的一次.
我竟然早番學校成個鐘都唔知道.
so embarrassed when classmates asked me and I then discovered!
these days I'm really exhausted.
cuz I slept at 3 and got up at 7
so always did wrong things.
but this week I have to stay awake
cuz I have read& writing unit plan and research
sigh.
now wait for lesson at 1130
and today will be a long bad day cuz i have assembly till 1730.
BAD!
>>November 5, 2008 at 2:39:12 AM GMT+8
2008 年 10 月 30 日 星期四 【晴】
[奇遇]
last Friday Halloween 很離奇
因為是一個奇遇
presentation was smooth and gd
放學借了幾本書for research
然後take train back home
我在搭電梯時候讓位給一個印度男人, 樣子都幾kind
從而開始對話
he said how're u
i said fine.
I said I can teach kids at your son's age.
想不到他還要問我的歲數.
我說20s', 我不喜歡告訴陌生人自己歲數..
他以為 twenty.
但我還是比較意外他還繼續問我give contact to him, or address , so that his son can contact me or write me letters
and meet up and become 'very long-term' friends first...
因為我twenty 也比他16 yrs old兒子大很多,
我說: u have a gd and clever boy!.....he should have lot of friends.
he said nono...he doesnt have, we 're muslims.
他說muslims 令我若有所思.
還是繼續問我 u dont have a number?
我唔知道應該答yes or no...唯有尷尬笑..
si dan ....總之我只對"中國香港"人有興趣.
not racism..just 不想再加重溝通障礙
從我轉乘kcr from mtr 那個escalator 開始他便一直跟著和我說話到太子我才能逃脫.
因為我要去太子買東西, so i said i have to go now, nice to meet u ;)
最可憐的是在kln tong 我等車時候...he said: are ur parents Chinese?
我立即話: Of Course! (難道你以為我是賓賓嗎?)
Mon and Tue i was too hyper..without reason.
didn't understand y I could stay up long without sleeping enough.
so i guess it's probably becos there's biological change inside my body.
so i feel better these day. and 個人精神了很多.
i just slept 3 to 4 hrs per day on Mon & Tue..strange.
and I was quite awake.
but of course it has consequence for sure...
I felt damn tired today .......but suddenly got a call that I had to visit the school at 9xx am
actually Tue I had been notified already.
XXX中學 (其中一個字是四季字~自己估~cuz i dont want to be searched when someone type the school name in search engine)
非常出名的band 5學校.
今次...真係有命番出黎的話我想我會前途無限.
我沒有不開心.因為當知道有學校的時候我很興奮..even i know it's not a high banding school
cuz 我等了gum 耐終於有著落!!!終於有學校肯收留我!!!之前說沒有學校搞到我nightmare
ppl who have been to band 1 school before need to go to the opposite, vice versa
所以Tue 開心了一天cuz 這是教授找回來的學校,不是office 找的.
而且還有同學未有位.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
however, 今天去到..一來差d 遲到(好彩)..最後還是早5mins arrived.
這間中學的人他們說甚麼this is a mistake...誤會一場.
........that means 本來他們應承了IEd 俾位..原因是以為我是舊生 =_=.........
所以現在都沒辦法了,他們就讓我來.
但.......給我的班是一班準備要kick 晒出去的中四生....
the teacher just discouraged me so much becos she said u didn't have to prepare too much.
they just know a/an/the/was.
no need to teach passage.
just teach question and help them to find out the answers..
一個chapter十幾廿頁...她可以飛飛飛...飛了四分三...說可以不教了.
直接去passage..........的後面的Q&A.
prepare them not to get U grade result in CE.
get F or E is very gd already.
我明白個老師都係好心讓我知道他們的standard
但我很灰...灰在因為我不是舊生而俾班全校最差而且要kick 2x個出去的...
灰在他們未被踢出去之前已經被老師放棄 !
我其實真係唔認同佢呢種連passage 都不教只找答案的做法.
因為我覺得學生這樣是不會學到野....
唉. 不過我都做不到甚麼改變, I'm just a student teacher.
另外我會教F.3 ..這個聽說可以用英文教學.
那我就即管試試
after all I chatted with little g, cuz hers is also a band 5 private school
luckily she can teach f.6. I also want to teach f.6 ar.
however she has to teach f.4, which is also the worst group.
also, 16:40先放學...
no method la, i said...大家到時實習得閒電話呻下慰藉&勉勵一下....都無辦法了,唯有忍
現在未敢判斷是不是真的像外界所說那樣差.
要到我教過我才能說好不好.
不過...間學校大到................11層.....library 有兩個母校操場大= .=
還有groud floor swimming pool...............
設施可真好得要緊,不過奇怪就是好像從不見有部pc..難道沒有pc???!!!!!!!
總之係大la .....i mean it is not big in school area,...but i mean there are 11 storeys.
it's a tall building!!
normally a school just has abt 6~7 floors
it has 11~12.....a double. just like 2 schools combined!
so this is a big school!
我跟他們握手...
他們回握都很有力量,
我覺得很特別, 一個單手握,一個好像hamburger 兩手實按一下,一個像雙手合十的握著. (很有趣!)
這個時候我感覺到一種力量, 是"肯定"和"被接納"的感覺, 特別是hamburger 那個.
body language 是真的非常powerful. 這是上年在加拿大ethnograpic studies學到的.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[intrinsic values]
之前在library..forgot to bring 環保袋..
但又借了10本書.....
唯有尷尷尬尬地問library 可否借/買環保袋.
不過個男人(senior in library) 說可以送給我. (這裡library 的服務是真的很好,他們是連環保袋都有準備,我當然非常滿意)
然後拿個綠色大大個寫著ＨＫＩＥＤ ＬＩＢＲＡＲＹ 出來給我
下款還有library website .......=_=
my first sense was....如果我背這個袋....會更加尷尬
全世界都知我係邊度讀.....
但是後來出了library.
我想....那又如何?
數年前或者我會在意
現在不同了,
我學會了很多東西, 多了knowledge
knowledge is power
有了力量I feel much better
and I'm no longer empty.
some years ago I felt I was so empty & low self-values.
this year i feel good.
自身內在的滿足感和自信的增強真的很美好.
this is not given by others..nor found due to somebody/sth 's existence
it is sth that I built up by myself...
no one is gonna take it away
我知道有好些人rely自己的價值on others. 這樣他們便變得很vulnerable
希望他們都能夠和我一樣向著這個方向進發.
早上繼續sneezes,
心理狀態還好
交了兩份功課始終完了件事
http://www.schsa