i think i'm in a big trouble in my hon pro now........damn it.
i'm worried if i'll be scolded by lecturer.....
this week i have to figure out a solution and think how to say it to her.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sat really slept whole day.
....woke up, lunch..nap..woke up..bath..dinner...play tarot..slept at 9...till next day 10 oclock
可能一個week 累積下來的變得很疲累
而且我sent 了他的相俾little g.
嚇死佢佢話想也想不到佢個樣咁恐怖,個樣咸咸濕濕, 叫我坐遠佢d
我都話我實習前也沒想到每天對坐的人是個思想同樣子都咁恐怖啦!
T_T........
sigh...備課一下早點睡...cuz我需要多點精神for the next reading & writing assignment on 22th.
and also 準備俾人鬧死的research project..
I know i'm in a big trouble now..
現在如果老實跟lecturer 講一定俾佢鬧死
所以要想想怎樣說.
gdnight
>>December 14, 2008 at 2:10:48 PM GMT+8
2008 年 12 月 11 日 星期四 【晴】
胃好痛......救命.
lunch 大快活
dinner 大家樂.
我要死了......
......其實lunch 只有chinese tea restaurant or 大快活選擇.
next monday我想還是帶三文治清淡d算了.......
因為thur 飲茶覺得d 質素非常麻麻...所以飯後覺得滯...滯中帶不舒服.覺得食物可能用了一些差的食油來煮....
今天在學校發生了一件小事
可惜我處理得不好變成大了點的事
...一匹布所以不長說了
總之就是two boys had quarrel during lesson.
不過今天我學到更多更多東西
教育是很有意義.......但真的很challenging...有時候我覺得真係好難..
如果說教書的話..那就簡單得多..只要我plan 好一點lesson...那就不太難
但.............教書不只是教書那麼簡單...
大則教埋他們如何做人.....小則還要處理他們的childish quarrels...還要處理得好.
處理得不好就會小事化大.
我覺得我懂得道理....
但教人道理我真的不懂.
就算懂他們也未必受.
今天其中有個boy came to me and cried.
雖然最後我都成功開玩笑令他笑一笑
但我才發覺真的很難handle.....死了.
其實佢都應該要受罰.....但我好似沒有鬧他....
我覺得最難的問題是如何做到客觀地去看一件事...
見佢喊我又覺得有點心軟....好像變了有點偏幫佢.
我咁樣真係好唔得....
但我都真係唔知道點樣才能做到公平一點.
有待改進.
我認為在教學上我能夠做到相應的糾正.
但教學生做好學生..教學生做人.........................
.......原來今天才剛剛開始!
夜晚mum didn't cook.
明明打算order food by phone..
but mum wanna go cafe de carol.......
我都明知道再食我一定痛死.
還是去了.
sigh.點解次次也是我就人...
就人的永遠都是我...........那誰來就我?
個胃真的受不了這類餐飯...好辛苦.
不過現在打完這篇後又覺得胃不痛了真好
goodnight.
now i sleep much earlier so feel v. sleepy now.
>>December 12, 2008 at 4:29:30 PM GMT+8
2008 年 12 月 9 日 星期二 【晴】
[留戀]
我今天很開心
只是累極沒有太多笑容..呆呆地.
總之很辛苦cuz I slept at 3
明天幸好from 4堂變2堂..否則我真的死...
其實係3堂..不過其中一堂writing test所以我不用教.監考就可以.
今天好開心
開心開心開心
因為拿了個gd credit i feel v. satisfied.
supervisor 到了school library第一下坐下來時候他便說 to me you look you are very in control.
我話i'm just pretending. you made me feel so nervous now.
and then he said: that's everybody does. (when supervisor comes for their lessons)
today teach language arts--love letter.
it's so funny.
I asked if they have sent/received any love letter from others
they said no.
I asked them really?? for several times
and then a smart boy asked if I have any love letter
:O
I said "no...I'm v. poor" with an embarrassing smile which made my supporting teacher laughed.
the lesson was really quite funny anyway. We laughed lot in the end because of their group works.
但最開心的是supervisor 說的兩句話..
英文不記得他怎樣表達..cuz his English is complicated in its own sentence structure.
總之就是說出年我畢業如果邊間學校請到我o個間學校就好彩
i said: :D no kidding!
今日全程我都太疲累,所以別人看不出我是非常高興.
另外一句話就是
"I know some students who have grad. for 2 years, and now they work very well in school, but you're already same as them."
我心裡想(are you serious? u made me so happy!)
我想SCREAM OUT LOUD..
費事失儀態..
不過開心一下就好
出年一定好難搵工......
work 唔work well.....真係好depend on 自己o係邊間學校教
間間學校文化&風氣不同...真係教過先知道是否適合自己.
唔適合就會好大壓力好辛苦.
:D isn't it cute? but i dont understand "距離地面30公里高空"...
唔係話space teddy bear o羊?!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tue supervisor 1st visit for lesson observation
有壓力!
自從實習開始我每天都校7個手機響鬧時間:
6:15 6:18 6:20 6:30 7:00 7:10 7:15
這個方程式是我經過各種累積經驗得來
我其實是6:20 要起來
但為了讓自己有一點點賴床時間我會校多兩個讓自己清醒點
然後萬一賴過隆還有6:30.
7:00 叫自己差不多
7:10 叫自己快d手
7:15 要準備走
this is my silly one hour alarming schedule :p
不過今晚一定要養好身子
否則Tue 會死.
ok, 不說太多.我現在很殘.
但又要備課.
遲些如果放假的話要去去小小心意街的shop,我想買一個key ring 俾Sarah
cuz last time I noticed that she loves it very much as she saw our classmate's key ring. (but i dont like that brand's thing)
就當答謝佢今日仗義相助ba! 因為我實在很少找人幫這種忙.
>>December 7, 2008 at 3:10:27 PM GMT+8
2008 年 12 月 4 日 星期四 【晴】
today is holiday
teacher professional development day.
for teacher to evaluate their work last yr.
so we dont have to go
i can have some rest.
cuz i really feel so tired.........so damn tired.
sigh. hope this is just temporary..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yesterday i didn't have lunch with them
i had sandwich myself
cuz i really dont like them.
this weekend v. busy..
need to hand in assignment on Sunday.....
and now i have to do lesson plan, 9th 1st visit.
dinner first.
>>December 5, 2008 at 11:18:21 AM GMT+8
2008 年 12 月 2 日 星期二 【晴】
今天動了真氣
f.4 was so naughty.
i was so angry.
they broke the chinese hist cd and the pieces of fragments were spread everywhere.
然後我個樣變了很兇殘他們才安靜了點.
我覺得自己像人狼, so i understand why band 3 school teachers 個樣沒有甚麼笑容. 職業病.
其實我很激心.
我一激心就想湧淚水.
不過,我會不停跟自己說calm down and 不要上心.
一上心就會把情緒帶回家裡.
就讓工作的感受留在工作單位裡
可是多少還有點影響心情.
f.3 班野都多嘴.
佢o地改了我花名做miss. clock.
=_=
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我極度不想跟他們食飯....
一個A貨側田; 我同佢好唔熟,今天飲茶(i dont like to drink tea with them!)佢問我有無宗教信仰,我話無..然後佢好爛地說:我信訓"教"ga!哈哈.
妖. 黑人憎.一d 都唔好笑!
然後打蛇隨棍上問我有無拍拖呢d私人問題,我今日個心真係好唔舒服俾佢問到我覺得實在太私人...我決定明天情願自己一個人係staff pantry 食sandwich我都唔要再同個仆街食
我亂作了我曾經同IEd 的人拍拖,我話但係散了.
佢竟然問:咁等我問下你點解散o既,做下調查嘛~
........好討厭呀頂你個肺.....我亂說一個最常用的原因..性格不合囉
然後佢仲厚臉皮不恥下問說: 無理由wor, 性格不合咁起初又一齊?!
我差d 想話gum 你想我點答你?係咪想我話因為光頭囉,好似你咁樣囉...因為係條淫蟲囉,都好似你咁樣囉..
我想翻檯呀!!!!!!仆街!
然後個八婆忍不住話識耐o左咪發覺唔arm 囉有mud 出奇.
她代我答了我也不想再多說...我真係同佢兩個好唔熟. we just met each other since 17 Nov!
但佢又繼續問你中學定大學拍拖.
.....佢係IEd讀ga?
我非常後悔我當初應該呃佢話我就是拍緊拖唔該你lan開便算了,我真的想不到佢問咁detail.
算吧, 如果他再有甚麼行動的話我便說我和這位"IEd 男友"又一起了,就係吹漲!
不過,我真係唔想再talk abt anything with this bull shit.
不要逼我再亂作故事..好煩..i just wanna focus on my teaching practice.
我真係覺得好辛苦.
因為另外那位BITCH 一樣好難頂...佢為人師表,公眾場合說學生rubbish ar, 又話自己無男友無辦法生存呀...最麻煩的是佢不停大大聲講學校老師是非.....人o地聽到ga!!!!!
然後坐係library, 然後佢話librarian 係蝗蟲,大食............chi sin ga.......!!!!!
我同佢兩位坐我真係遲早俾個bitch 害死,然後俾淫賤A貨側田煩死
救命呀............................... >_<"""""
我突然間真係好驚側田問我要電話..
he suddenly asked me this today
made me feel like he wanna chase me
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
i feel this is so disgusting
i feel so holy shit
really really damn it from my true heart
feel so tired..
i really dont understand y....
maybe it's due to the environment of the school
or maybe it's due to my unstable body condition.
i feel esp. tired in this school.
last time i was also tired in the previous TP school..but it was a different feeling.
that one was NORMAL tired.
but this one.......a bit abnormal.
probably i cried these days.
i'm so idiot.
cuz i dont know what i cried for.
i just suddenly remember i cried in the airport in Vancouver so i cried yesterday.
我還記得我喊到係飛機上發燒嚇親人.(這樣就不好啦)
所以話, 我最驚去機場然後不是一齊走要say gdbye.
所以我從來都不會送corn機 (要走你自己走好了 :D)
aunt's family comes back.
we had dinner @ causeway bay together last sat.
我好surprised 表哥都落埋o黎接我 :D, 因為電話是表姊接, 她說落o黎接,不知道表哥都落埋o黎
cuz 表姊俾錯地址,我們站在那個位置只有LV 名店沒有酒家, 他們便走來接我們.
還記得上年在CAD我臨走時候真的強忍不住&說不出話地喊..
攬佢o地倆老覺得離別的感覺真的非常痛苦
車我到機場就只是表哥.
雖然在車上佢嘗試開玩笑
可是真的入閘那刻我跟他gdbye hug時
他都很傷感,不過他說他遲些回來時候再找我玩囉,到時同埋表嫂and their baby boy
cuz she was still pregnant
想不到他們那麼快又回來, 個仔都差不多一歲! (超乖從來不扭計!)
時間原來過得真係快,又一年了.
其實每一年都發生很多事.....真是不能少看時間..
可能單單一個禮拜也可以有人生突變和衝擊
aunt told my mum that we're (she and I) so close now, isn't it huh?
其實我在他們那裡只是逗留了三日兩夜.
不過可能外國的時間過得慢(單是香港也快8個鐘啦)
我覺得好像發生了很多事...我們周圍玩,2hr journey from one city to another and we saw the snowy mountain. or maybe just 5 mins driving to the nearby beach and ate a cold ice cream.
我覺得很好很free. 我最喜歡這樣.
3 天裡面所做的簡單事情.......勝過我跟別人做幾個月甚至幾年的事情去培養感情.
有時候我真的不明白catalyst 是甚麼..
可能就是因為時間短, 夠精簡, 可以先做美好的事情.
又或者這些對於我跟這家人來說可被解釋為"感情發展一日千里" 囉~
E+我們之間很親切GA.
gdnight :)
>>December 1, 2008 at 4:43:02 PM GMT+8
2008 年 11 月 28 日 星期五 【晴】
[leave me alone]
最近這一兩個月似乎都間斷有些古靈精怪的人纏上
昨晚終於發惡夢夢見俾人騷擾驚醒.
昨日放學我要番IEd
第一次嘗試乘搭那個小巴到沙田市中心.
其實我都知道那架車會到沙田大會堂附近.
但為了真的MAKE SURE, 我問司機是不是到沙田火車站的.
他說落shatin town hall 好容易行去train station la.
那我明白了.
然後上車after 15~20 mins it arrived
落車前我當然還要問多次司機火車站是那個方向走.
只要他講多次是前方我就安心.
我以為車裡的人都下了車
原來還有個比較年長的男人在後面跟我一樣要下車
可能他聽到我問關於火車站
便問我是否要去火車站
我說是
他便指著說前面行過去就係.
我話好,唔該
其實我心裡面都知道大約怎樣走
因為個頭我都熟o既
just sth time i dont feel quite sure if i'm right or wrong.
I really have zero confidence in geography....
我下車了
他也下車
還給我指方向
我想他可能是比較熱心
我話唔該晒唔該晒.....
可是他邊走邊給我指方向...又問第一次搭呢架車?
我開始覺得自己有點勉強地說係....
...這下我可慘了.我在想: 你不是打算'送'我到火車站吧..........
我故意放慢腳步讓他先走....讓他走在前面...讓他繼續前走
可是他不停轉頭跟我說..這邊怎樣..前邊怎樣..那邊怎樣..應該怎樣..以前怎樣...現在怎樣.....
god..can you leave me alone please..I really wanna be alone so much after school..........
no one understand how much i desire to be alone at that moment...i didn't want to be bothered.
I really hate to be around by ppl who i dont like ...wasting my time and energy to social.
就是這樣,我竟然同這個男人從shatin town hall road side 行到火車月台............
and then 夜晚發惡夢,很久都沒有這種情況了...
最近實在太多古靈精怪的人三唔識七九唔搭八
mum 說正常人教下人點行便算..怎會跟著並行這麼久.
實在可能是我實習這區的人比較雜
下次真的要小心點..我最近真的碰見了很多怪人....mum said it's a bit dangerous
總之leave me alone
學校都已經有個痴孖根
街上也是這樣..
我真的覺得很煩
我開始發覺自己最近碰見的人大多數都是痴痴地
有神經病的我都統統遠離
依家又來新的一批黐(痴)人
HELP
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
下個星期會很忙
有assignment on 7th
9th supervisor 來觀課..
當我看到電郵是看f.3......
我立即在家中客廳跪拜大喊謝天謝地.....
cuz f.4 i gonna pk and take Yr5 next yr.
f.3 i'm more confident to get a pass..
>>November 29, 2008 at 6:44:37 PM GMT+8
2008 年 11 月 26 日 星期三 【晴】
極度疲累,到今天才難得有清閒時間.....
昨晚11:30pm 睡,今天還是很辛苦. (而且還搭了$46.8 taxi 趕返學校....=_= shit.)
每天還是眼腫回校...時間當去到lunch 後便很腫&很重,總之苦不堪言.
而且最大原因是學校地區都是山上..走的路不是平坦故此很費力量.
每朝take bus 又要爬大約60級樓梯..(是一口氣within one min),因為趕時間....到頂時候我總是有點索氣.
巴士日日時間不同v. annoying. 今天我剛到頂,bus 剛駛走. suppose 應該10~15 mins 來, 但我等了20 分鐘都沒有來.....唯有pk地衝番60 steps 然後take taxi =_=.....cuz just abt 15 mins left.
我上了taxi, driver 竟然說不熟路=_=..我又不記得exact address of the school i'm really so pk today.
說了幾個附近的位置他才知道那裡...7分鐘便到了..可是十倍的車資 T_T (我還要食飯的)
終於到了..我不敢在正門落車怕讓人看見我打的所以叫他附近落...
可是落了我又後悔..我忘記了我在山上.....每步路都是往上行...累死我了..(這叫折墮)
可能身體這幾天不好,
下星期應該會好多.
總之今天破財擋災....
他還是不停說無感覺?? 通常如果俾呢間學校d 學生就we wa 鬼叫..
我還是表示無感覺(cuz I couldn't see anything)
他真的好討厭好黑我憎呀!!!!!!!妖.
佢話點解無反應ga.
咁你係咪想我we wa 鬼叫啊頂!
我這個星期已經不停說I dont like art, I'm novice of art, I'm not interested in art
他修art
由1st day 已經不停聽到他說很多方面都很"出色"
例如he knows 跆拳or 柔道(i forgot which! I dont care!!)黑帶, 他學日文高級..他學甚麼甚麼
講到自己一身本領
我真係好討厭佢啊!!!!!點解要同佢一齊!!!好辛苦!!!
我已經不斷忍
我覺得佢好white chi, 做d 咁既題目,根本佢就係喊濕
this is an education research project!
if you say ur degree is modern art or whatever, it's ok.
係secondary school 點解一定要focus on nude pic?!
我話根本not quite relevant to syllabus, 他都答不出口
他訪問librarian and asked her if she could give him some books abt nude pic.
然後又再煩我,話呢本書,你看看這幅圖, 根本不是裸體畫, 然後用手指指住圖畫上面的cartoon girl 's breast. cuz she's wearing 低胸大V上衣,然後他說而且本書只有一幅圖,不算是一本裸體畫書!
這一刻我開始覺得不舒服.
最後我不想說太多,因為我說少少,他便說"唔係ga,唔係ga", 不停說到自己好pro. 好多theories 好多名家作品,令我覺得更加煩!!!
他說裸女market 越來越好因為有個出名畫家的artwork 是put many black dots (made of plastics) on her body and then make it like Braille (凸字) 去表達message. he said this is creativity this is art.
我覺得他想引我說"咁係咪叫d 盲人去摸?"不過我沒有問,因為我聽到"全身赤裸&痴上一粒粒黑膠"真的開始覺得很不舒服.
之前的圖片我看不見我還可以接受他說他的白痴research
但他說到裸女我已經覺得很不舒服, i want him to shut up. 不要假正經!!!偽君子!!!!不要用藝術兩個字作為你語言非禮別人的藉口!!賤格!!起初我以為自己思想敏感叫自己放鬆一點,但佢越講越多越過分!!我不認為他係個君子!!
我今天回到家bathing 回想起我突然覺得這是一種sexual harrassment to me. I feel so bad afterwards. I hate this so much, i was so annoyed.
tomorrow, i swear, if he dares fucking say those things again to me i 'll let him eat shit.
I won't stay in the same with room with him!!!
我明明改緊dictation 還要戴埋headphone聽歌就是擺明show 給他看我的body language = no disturbance
還要撩人講野你知唔知你好煩呀!!!我唔覺得你好叻呀!!!!
我覺得你簡直低俗兼唔知醜兼無腦呀!!!!!!!
仲有唔該你唔好lunch 時候問我人文學同philosophy 呀!!!!好悶呀!!!!!!
好憎你呀!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
damn i hate you so much.
我知道大衛像是世界公認名作
請你不要問我看到他的時候我會不會尷尬!!!!!!!!!!!!
我尷唔尷尬關你damn 叉事呀?!
唔好汙染藝術,
唔好濫用藝術,
去博人矇!!!
mammy 說我回應佢讓他以為我有興趣to listen to him,
但我just to be polite ja,
唔該你啦,我講o左n 次I dont like (your) art!!!
我想我也要負dd責任啦,我應該連應也不要應! 基本上1st day 過後我已經對他冷淡很多,他無理由get 不到我不想他說他的偉論,而且他大我很多, 無理由唔明.
是不是光頭的都是那麼cheap 的??
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
tmr I hope he can shut up, i feel so bad today, gdnight.
i hate him ar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!!! ＩＨＡＴＥ ＨＩＭ ＤＡＭＮ ＭＵＣＨ！！！！！！
>>November 27, 2008 at 5:16:49 PM GMT+8
2008 年 11 月 20 日 星期四 【晴】
學校實習生活暫時都愉快
可是最近自己的生活都不愉快.
幸好至少我從我的學生群中找到一點安慰.......
我這班學生很bb的
都成f.3 f.4 了
還是很baby..要tum 要盛(我今天還買了很多小禮物for coming weeks),雖然也會很naughty很難教
可是就是因為他們那樣純真....令我覺得自己找對了地方
現在,學校就是我的disneyland....where u can forget all your personal worries.
i think i'm in a big trouble in my hon pro now........damn it.
[留戀]
學校實習生活暫時都愉快
http://www.schsa