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※Aquarius's Spell※

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2010 年 4 月 17 日 星期六 【晴】

星期五心情很好
兩班A班都問為何你今日個look 咁開心

i dont know y.
actually when i see them it's just full of fun.
but due to the identity, can't laugh too much.

其實佢o地真係好搞笑

說話有個f.1 supermarket shopping 的english learning trip
我先問誰有興趣
i chose 6 students,
and then told them they would have $10 cash for the trip
they could buy anything they wanted

and when they came back
i was having a detention class with those students who didn't do their dictation corrections
they gave me some snack, and they looked v. happy and excited.

I asked 'did u learn anything'
they showed me the worksheet,
it's abt a survey asking the taste and texture of the snack
and one said: 哈好彩我無開包薯片
我死都唔開呀
有個人俾人叫要開包薯片
點知成包薯片即刻俾人分晒
我就無咁蠢,梗係帶番屋企對住facebook 慢慢dept啦 哈哈哈Hohoho...~

我覺得d f.1,2 真係好鬼好笑

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i love 白夜行
i watched the whole tv drama series before.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

有現在一直去...到了14/6
就完了一個school year.

其實教weak classes 真係好攞命

>>April 18, 2010 at 4:08:39 PM GMT+8


2010 年 4 月 7 日 星期三 【晴】

放咁耐
病咁耐

就是所謂最近新興的term ''休閒 症"
難聽d就係辛苦命

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
我現在就是休閒地改文
死到臨頭我還是那樣休閒
還是改著X'mas 的hw...
i'm so slow

一向以為改文很悶
但是如果細心閱讀

有時候都幾好笑
我班一個女孩
she said she had sushi with her best friend on X'mas Eve
and then took a bus to Mong Kok to count down
but they got a wrong bus and that time it was 11 :50 pm
so she counted down on a bus.

I laughed out.

another girl she left her dc in a taxi in Macau.
so unlucky.

so........it's boring only when we put ticks without reading them
but time is always a crucial thing

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[right now there's no water in my vase]

without the interference...
I'm planning for a trip in summer.
for myself only.

I want to visit you.
so let's match the schedule.

i want to do sth special before 25.

before this Easter holiday comes I said 'I feel bored.'
cuz it's really boring...
If i say I'm bored....
that's not usual...cuz I'm the one who really enjoys and appreciates the existence of boredom.

and now..i think it's over limit
and I must do sth to stimulate my senses.
i need sth that bombards me

so I want an adventure.....
if I can see u there, then let's go to see Alice's Spring at night.
the place I heard of when I was secondary 1.

at this moment, y, i just feel you're the only one who understands me
maybe we are in the similar situations.
and need some breakthroughs
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[braveness/impulse]

maybe i had gd sleep these days.
when I woke up, i dont feel that damn tired.

but kept dreaming bad things like there's fire accident in the place we stayed and i burnt my hand.
and now i stayed up cuz I really want to jot down sth as an evidence of personal growth.

still, i want to change many things around me.

I always thought I need braveness
like the main character in alice in wonderland...
in fact, all the heroines have extraordinary braveness which I really admire..
like mulan.
we all have struggles like them but we dont have the braveness in making big decisions

勇氣和衝動
其實分別或許在於發生在童話故事裡還是現實中

reality doesnt promise a happy ending
成功了那就叫做勇氣
失敗了就叫做衝動

那究竟我還是否需要勇氣
還是其實我更需要理智的頭腦
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
are the people always waiting for the so-called 'the yet~to~come best'?

I'm tired.
wander, hesitate, struggle,
just want to give up.

just like my lip balm which doesnt work on me.


let's call it a night.

>>April 7, 2010 at 8:14:56 PM GMT+8


2010 年 3 月 31 日 星期三 【晴】

maybe i'm over-sensitive, feel cold

every smile
every score

counts politics in.

so fake
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

終於換了個袋

最近我很喜歡cath kidston
差點拍板去買....
可以不知道怎麼了
喜歡的東西heat 了
現在週街都是老番
還是算吧..........though i still like it

以前看見這類pattern 總會覺得很leung
原來口味真的會偶然變變

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

一段新聞出街
教育又變成夕陽行業

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------want to change my lip balm for a long long time

又行山 =_=" why..
I'm just worried if I would have phobia of it

let's call it a night

>>March 31, 2010 at 6:08:08 PM GMT+8


2010 年 3 月 28 日 星期日 【晴】

[contradicted]
最近才覺得自己好飄忽不定
身體和心情都是善變的

想做些事
然後不想做
過後又或會後悔

心裡想做
身體卻不聽喚

有時候
身體有能力做
心裡卻乏力推動

番工後情況更嚴重
矛盾的感覺滲透到骨子裡
然後統統都轉化成壓力
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

luv easter eggs and chicks

>>March 28, 2010 at 5:27:09 PM GMT+8


2010 年 3 月 18 日 星期四 【晴】

教師發癲日

去了別的學校開聯校會
乘搭巴士,等了15 分鐘,還以為會遲到
不安感隨時間溜走加強
這就是搭巴士的不好

很久沒有搭巴士
再搭巴士
看見社區老化
看見很多那些來自80,90年代,名字歐化兼老套而不再繁榮的店鋪
髮廊,當鋪, 麵包鋪, 茶餐廳.....一時間又想不出其他的

社區老化之外, 貧富懸殊的話題..
其實我很想看看究竟籠屋裡面是怎樣
那些山邊破舊的小屋又是怎樣
我很想了解香港低下階層的生活是怎樣
又為甚麼會造成這樣的結果呢?

話說番工這裡是這區最多窮人的地方
我探訪過老人家,也家訪過學生...
我覺得他們都不是很差吧
至少我不覺得他們窮

那究竟那些所謂窮...最難堪的情況會去到那裡?

如果真的要讓教師發展
不如去一個有意義的trip 吧
開著那種聽不聽也罷的會議..
平時很少做這種事的我還是決定在人群中睡一會兒...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
陪同事聽投資
聽財富管理

我想這階段還未是時候
對錢這觀念太弱

我覺得錢是提升個人生活質素的factor
所以我都要努力搵錢
不過要再多的錢就不知道可以幹甚麼
再幹的事都是把錢再滾大
但得到再大舊的錢又可以做甚麼?

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
這幾天心情都不好

覺得有心無力
有壓力又吃力

都是有點灰
開始發覺權力越大
可以控制的事竟然是越有限
what's happened

記得教院有個lecturer
佢送了我們一首詩
總之就是再想give up 也不要give up
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

春夏來了
便食慾減退

我覺得this season會興碎花

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
曾蔭權回應道,自己也是普通人,會真情流露,他也明白沒有人的意見完全一樣。他又說,性格很難改變,但他經常會反思自己的表現。

有些人一不高興便面黑黑
好比有些人任何時候都面不改容...
因為那實在有點恐怖
never read through his/her mind.

新朋友
你給一年時間

一年後你便會知道他們有沒有真正當你是fd.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


這刻很需要新事物bombard

>>March 21, 2010 at 8:14:25 AM GMT+8


2010 年 3 月 13 日 星期六 【晴】

又一個week
我似乎還未適應早睡早起的生活
如果要我接受我是八十後的產物
我只覺得夜訓這群體現象
才能以generation的單位去區分


慣了不去早睡
究竟何時我才能早睡早起?
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

still,so much instabilities & insecurities
I hope I have enough courage to make changes & breakthrough
bad mood
let's call it a night.

>>March 14, 2010 at 3:46:22 PM GMT+8


2010 年 3 月 11 日 星期四 【颳風】

this day was one of the worst days in my teaching life

東西做好八成後
班女突然發瘋狂哭說放棄
又無故發我脾氣

連續這幾天
都不知道何故
都有女生哭

一個就是她怕媽媽罵她遲回家
又哭又叫又發我脾氣
一個就是同學們選她做禮貌 之星
就爆粗又哭又發脾氣
另外兩三個就因為班內的人說他們的clothing design ugly
就齊齊哭發我脾氣

是否女生到這個年紀都喜歡鬧情緒
頭兩個我都尚叫能夠平息事件
最後一個我都忍不住burnt out.
這個project 已經由新年煩了我很久
到終於差不多到尾聲才說不做不上台
下課鐘響後
我說: 問題是,昨天還好好的興致勃勃去趕工,今天別人說不好看一句話你們就放棄?而且星期一已經是比賽了, 你們叫我怎趕及找其他組去train??
他們還是哭啊哭..又說成我為何逼他們做.....
我內心真後悔選了一組情緒那麼不穩的女...叫他們先穩定自己情緒還是叫叫嚷嚷
我說:不要哭了,那我們班放棄了好吧?
待她們說不做後我便離開課室

課室是二樓,我在想為何這離ground floor 這麼高....
讓我距離washroom 這麼遠
行落到一樓我都忍唔住burnt out
東西都差不多做好了
然後才無法交代
suddenly felt so helpless.


後來班女覺得自己衰吧
又或者a few students saw me on 1/f...i dont know
自己又不知何故走來apologized
放學後跟她們rehearse完都6pm

我走出學校時
看看那個天色
很記得是灰紫色

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

教育的理想是人人都受教育
但現實是總有孺子不可教

如果我教大約140個學生
而當中有1,2 件是垃圾
若果你認為我這樣說很沒品
我只能說那確實是一個大家的耳朵接受不到的事實

有些學生不受老師教,
那種學生等上天來教.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

別說別人了
連我也很怕自己喊
就好似Simpsons那雙眼

so ugly
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

睡覺靠牆的人
站在黑夜中心
四野無人

沒有那面牆
你是否頓失安全感
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

2010
deserves better

>>March 13, 2010 at 7:41:39 PM GMT+8


2010 年 3 月 5 日 星期五 【晴】

feel like it's easier to get ill since i work.
not used to the new life yet.

almost everything's unavoidable.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[中女]

唔明點解我咁快俾人當中女
同時間有兩個人implied我老

大人還覺得我像中六七妹仔
同輩就覺得我像中女
小朋友當我大家姐、姨姨、甚至被叫錯媽咪 :O
其實這種identity 只不過是relatively recognized
因為你是甚麼人而所以我是甚麼人....
身分都是被互相影響著
但幸好我很清楚我站在人生那個階段

每一天我看自己必定比昨天老
但我還是覺得自己距離中女有一碼子

其實做中女是我心願
別人對中女的定義是'因為差又衰老而沒人要的中年女人'
在我角度...中女是由小女孩到少女然後中女
maybe after menopause 就是老女
我的想法只是很biological.

還記得當我在小女孩與少女之間
那種複雜的心情
但我肯定我很想長大
擺脫那無助無能的感覺

至於有無人要, is another topic
也不是我可以控制
世上也有很多人被要了又被放棄了
在我眼中人品麻麻地或是老add add
其實很多也會很幸福的.
就算要了也不能肯定是否自己想要的

看了星期二檔案
對於螢幕上的女主角...
如果我是她們,
我便不會上這節目
把不幸承認為失敗.
讓自己真正成為'敗犬'
我只是覺得班女人想博出名


整個節目
如果是在談論男女關係,而不是在單純談論女人年老的話
只有那句"因為我強,所以我被放棄"
是現實愛情中最大的無奈.

愛情是盲目的
愛情中所謂的強弱都只是一種感覺
弱質纖纖又不過是relatively recognized
作為高手面對對手再溫柔一點又何況
率真和虛偽之競技並非取決於年齡
這種道理我升中時已經明白

社會上有太多無腦人
只看數字
才會有很多人身攻擊的事情發生
讓很多女性飽受額外痛苦
對於criticisms..我們要不卑不亢
無論愛情順利與否
不傲慢﹑不卑屈都是自家應有的態度


Isn't the process of growth always bittersweet

>>March 6, 2010 at 5:49:48 PM GMT+8


2010 年 2 月 18 日 星期四 【乍雨乍晴】

突然想,如果人體溫度有40度,那在被窩中便能暖得更快吧!
可是當下床時便會感覺更冷。

自從drama camp後,一直腳傷未癒.…
希望開學後行路不再隱隱作痛
….…


Gdnite

>>February 18, 2010 at 7:39:59 PM GMT+8


2010 年 2 月 11 日 星期四 【晴】

我放假了

這個生日很失望
完全無人記得我生日
except corn

反而那些平時以'很空閒'自居的朋友
卻在那天不見蹤影
how could u demand on others if u're the same.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

when u discover someone who's thought is so much alike yours
u better run
cuz u can see through all his/her weaknesses, which most of them apply the same on u
when u face him/her, u have to face urself too
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

悠長假期
still always my favourites.

戀愛世紀 is also v. gd
不過找不到connections

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
好想為這個世界做一點事

>>February 12, 2010 at 11:08:14 AM GMT+8


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