someone says: we've been away for a while.
how does it look like if we look at our place again from the above.
I'm still waiting for a chance
to see it again under a clear sky
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
met a special person tonight.
had a long chat in TST.
現在若有某些naughty kids say sth,
起碼我沒有太大感覺
或者可以說不是次次都有感覺.
I won't take things said by kids seriously
然後說聲 '是但你'
let's call it a night.
>>May 14, 2010 at 7:44:56 PM GMT+8
2010 年 5 月 12 日 星期三 【晴】
算吧,
地鐵裡情願俾人撞多兩下
好過俾人偷聽我跟人說的是非
it was so terrible on 13/5 after school.
but after all ......
we still murmur.
>>May 14, 2010 at 7:05:08 PM GMT+8
2010 年 5 月 12 日 星期三 【晴】
九龍塘
..差不多每隔天便有一隻手
出門和上電梯便最好下手
明知我趕時間
然後你也扮趕時間
推推推
逼逼逼
own own own ............
有時候..我也會想那是自找的
你這麼趕
碰撞總是難免.
但總有一天當我的無名火來了
i dont know if I would scold any of them.
cuz i really hate this.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
somehow feel happy abt the heavy workload.
so that I dont think rubbish things
this week I always think abt going to TST seaside.
strange that I wanna see the HK night view silently for a while.
>>May 12, 2010 at 4:49:49 PM GMT+8
2010 年 5 月 9 日 星期日 【晴】
got 14 monsquito bites.
really bad mood
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
in the English Week
ironically you still need to speak in English with the janitors?!
this Sat I need to take course again.
seems like no off in recent Sats.
I just want some private time for myself.
another snowball of workload is forming
>>May 10, 2010 at 4:57:07 PM GMT+8
2010 年 5 月 8 日 星期六 【晴】
mother's day
yesterday I got everything prepared.
bought several things for the family.
I'd rather celebrate on Sat.
if someone occupies my Sun
that will be a disaster for me..
cuz I work for 6 days in a week
I cant live without a private Sunday.
and i was so exhausted...from the invigilation of HKCEE in the morning
stood for 3 hrs...couldn't bear it anymore, feet were so tired..and cuz i felt not v. comfortable.
and sat down for a while
and circulated and sat
circulated and sat
circulated and sat
for 30 more mins
then i made a mistake of announcing a wrong timing.
i always have difficulties in reading clock
strange, it's not the first time.
luckily, i corrected my mistake.
hope no one will complain
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[imbalance]
felt exhausted
again and again
i really want freedom and private time..
the desire grows stronger when i get older.
and dont know what I work for.
if I were a wet towel..
I think it's almost the last drip of water I can be squeezed out.
somehow i feel like i'm born to serve for the others.
I can finally figure out y I was always so exhausted.
my focus is always on the others but not me
so I now have only one wish...................
...................
give and take doesnt always come in a match.
either give and give;
or take and take;
which does exist in this world
and this situation is seriously lack of balance for long term
once realised..there's no harmony at all.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
finally, I bought Jenny's cookie at Stanley
in fact not becos of the cookie..cuz i dont really like eating cookie.
my family likes cookies,
I like the box.
today i led a trip with colleague..
ha, what a shame.
an idiot of route and mapping.....took up a work of tourist guide and bodyguard.
to take care of 23 f.3 & 4 students.
luckily the colleague knew to set the route.
so i really hate outdoor activities
and i bought several cheap charms....
i mean that things should be cheap in else where
just i was cheated.
used $100 for sth just cost around $10~$20.
.....but dont know y i was still willing to be cheated.
maybe i was just too busy and no time to go shopping.
so with just 10 mins of shopping, i knew my target....
was just to grab sth and paid for it blindly.
felt so much contented when i got sth i like :)
and right now, when I came back home.
i regret that y didn't i pay for another kid's sch fee.
$200/yr for China kid.
I paid for one through my working place.
I think that cheap charms can exchange for half a yr of learning
oh God.
complicated feelings.
if I stop eating snacks and buying useless stuff,
i think i can pay for many kids
but would people ....including me.. really do this?
for what reasons would ppl defend for their selfishness?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok, back to life, shower and ready for another day
>>May 7, 2010 at 1:24:05 PM GMT+8
2010 年 4 月 30 日 星期五 【晴】
It's a day of love in school today.
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[the Love of the ring]
today I was very touched
I got a very beautiful plastic ring with my name "A. Kwok" on
there're also red hearts on it
and it's made by a girl from my class.
my colleagues and I think it's really v. pretty. :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
yesterday after finishing that naughty class's lesson,
While i was tidying up the mess
My student Anson walked passed my desk,
and said " I love you."
I just felt puzzled and pretended I didn't hear it
I dont have feeling with my students.
and I dont treat them very well daily.
strange
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
that religion is brainwashing me
>>May 1, 2010 at 2:05:20 PM GMT+8
2010 年 4 月 25 日 星期日 【晴】
[Room Service]
Kind of moody in the office
I just sat down to use the pc and y do I need to give it away
and strange that these ppl have pcs on their desks
maybe it's really a time to buy a new netbk in this summer
provided that if I still stay in this sch
in fact I'm still not v devoted to it
once I'm devoted,I'll place everything on my desk
clearly now as I can see,for this kind of setting, it's all to be removed easily
just packed and leave,
as if what I did in hostel long ago
like hotel room service
maybe I have emotion fluctuation regularly
just a short period that easily be annoyed
but really hate to see fake things fake ppl fake words
so fake
>>April 26, 2010 at 4:24:54 PM GMT+8
2010 年 4 月 23 日 星期五 【晴】
[Pie Jesu]
Apparently I'm not one of them,
but I do enjoy singing as a choir member.
I'd been a choir member since preschool
music really has a strong power.
I'm with them when we sing together.
I like the song
they like the God
Seems like i have kind of relationship with Jesus,God,whatever..
yep, it's kind of complex..
cuz I work in a Christian school
but I'm not a Christian
I dont hate nor doubt abt HIM
even in the prayers,
I pray together with them.
and in my heart, I just wish Jesus would take care of these ppl who trust HIM.
and no more.
They trust him, and they deserve blessing.
I just keep a distance as if I were a passer by..
I stay natural and my feeling towards HIM is always positive.
from the past 1x year I'd prayed a lot in school
this is a ritual habit formed coincidentally.
I'm familiar with lots of Christian/Catholic songs
as well as some bible words.
ppl can feel that I was grown from such a culture.
maybe that's y they hired me?oh
in the classroom, prayer was held and broadcasted through the PA system.
I requested the class to do it together with me.
my girl frowned and asked: haven't u got any religion?
I said, yep, but u still need to respect the religion
In the past I studied in a religious school,
and I sang with no pressure.
now when I sing....and pray
i dont feel like I was the one who used to be
i feel like I have more concerns abt that.
I'm aware of it
the political thing..maybe.
or I just dont want ppl confuse that I'm one of them.
that's bad...for such a mixed feelings
hope there's no border in music.
just like....
ppl sing for peace regardless of the races.
and we sing for Pie Jusu regardless of religions
I still love to be a choir member
wanna sing as I used to without invisible stress
How sad!
after school I listened to my colleague's story.
she's just a few yrs older than me.
they'd been together for more than 4 yrs.
and the guy just got married with another one just after 7 months
she just keeps thinking why
i think this will drive her crazy
she checked the girls' facebook, everything,
to find out y she was 'defeated' by this gal
after all she has a new bf, who values her true characters
but the mixed feeling of bitterness, regret, envy, anger, sadness, betrayal..
cannot be faded away.
she said she wanted a ring.
her ex-bf said it's not a matter of a ring,
it's the commitment
"and he made the commitment to that gal after 7 months" she said.
that's a story in reality
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Have much workload
and feel v. stressed.
these two weeks I just have Sunday as my rest day
Saturdays I have to attend workshop..with long hrs.
and then accumulated lots of writings to mark.
查簿是我教學生活中最大壓力的事
一年兩次
新仔四次
it kills me!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
is that a micro-hint of L? :)
>>April 23, 2010 at 8:09:53 PM GMT+8
2010 年 4 月 18 日 星期日 【晴】
after a big cold for the whole Easter
now it becomes the feet and thumb tendons' problem.
it's painful whenever i move.
feel like i'm partly handicapped since i work
as well as my eyes..
so soon i believe there'll be retina's problem.
there were times that i saw tiny black spots
maybe i was too tired..
or maybe there's problem in my eyes,
can't get rid of such a possibility.
dont know how I will react if i'm handicapped.
first i'll claim the gov subsidies
i'm not weak
but feel weak cuz i'm aging
sometimes i just wonder if i would have cancers at my early age.
cuz the work's really consuming my energy.
almost 8-6 non-stop
and i'm not quite used to it
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[everything changes a bit]
by conincidence
I met two Graces and Rebecca on Sat.
everything changes a bit when the time passes..
she had her colleague accompanied,
we couldn't really talk much in deep.
the age has gone
not a student anymore.
but i would say it's a nice memory to recall.
now we both feel stressed due to enormous amount of works.
feel sick and underprivileged all the time.
the teaching field is quite small
always can meet somebody.
attended the New Senior Secondary course
and so what
we just read through the requirements given by EDb.
as my professor said,nothing's new under the sun.
claim the cert and I left the place with my exhausted body
and there are still several certificates to be claimed
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
幸好沒有去山頂
算吧,
[產業鏈]
It's a day of love in school today.
http://www.schsa