2009 年 12 月 31 日 星期四 【晴】

Year 2009 is a really looooooooooooooooong year!
Time stills files but at some points I felt 渡日如年。

Year 2009 is a year with tears.
It is also a year that I grow.

It is my first time that I am so disheartened because of someone.
My heart really aches (of course different from that of heart attack la~:p)
But I must admit that this is a good experience, at least after experiencing that you know how to comfort others when then face similar situation.
However, I don’t want to have more such kind of experience, one is already enough~ hahaa

Those times were not easy, special thanks to Sing, alice and Panda!
Thanks for listening to me repeatedly and your support!
If you don't lose a slice of cake you won't realize you actuallyhave a large portion of that cake to enjoy.
Million of thanks to all of you. I don't know how I could get through those days without you.

Major FYP is really a marathon. It occupies 7 months of out of 12! (and of course continues in 2010….)
I understand my advantage of doing a sub-project and I did enjoy much benefit— I do not need to design my own set of experiment, I always have someone to consult, even part of the results presented was not done by me at that time (but will be repeated by me next week~:p) etc.

Yet, I have my never-end lab hours which are far more than other classmates' and never have day off. I am going back even during sem break!
However, sometimes my boss still thinks that is not satisfactory.
It is difficult to satisfy other's expectation. Somehow I think they expect too much from an undergraduate.
But I can do nothing to change others' mind. I have tried my best. Perhaps that is not good enough in some people eyes. But that is all I can give.
Yes, it is stressful. It is much harder than AL exams.
You know what, I still have nightmares about lab work these days, they never ceased.

I have learnt a bit about how to deal with that. Just don't have any expectation.
And don’t think you have holiday, if you can enjoy public holiday, it is grace act.
No expectation so that I won't be disappointed.
Also, never compare with others, just do you job and don't think too much.
That would help you to survive with less pain.
I have learnt not to grumble, it is no point telling others how harsh your life is. What do you expect from them? Showing sympathy? Comforting words?
Put myself in their shoes, it is difficult to give an appropriate reply.
So I choose to keep silence. Isn't there is a golden word saying 'Silence is Gold'?
After all, you have to fix the problems all by yourself.
Reality is somehow cruel. But this is the biological rule of survival of the fittest and it helps you to become more mature and independent.

2009 has goods and bads.
I still thankful for what I have, coz they are not a must to everyone.
O, another important lesson in 2009: never takes anything for granted!
This altitude creates a much much better life. :)

2009 has gone. I hope 2010 will be a better one.

>>2010年01月01日 Fri 19:38:44 (GMT+8)

2009 年 11 月 22 日 星期日 【晴】

::::::: Life with Papers & Essays :::::::

The life is killing me!!!!
Can it be less demanding?? At least let me have a break please!!!
Some people say year 3’s life should be the most 'hea' but why mine is totally the opposite?!

Every night stick with papers, either searching for papers or reading them.
Those are jargons to me, I don’t want to get to know them, they are so unfriendly but I am forced to digest them all.
There is a Chinese idiom 囫圇吞棗, and yes, I am exactly in such condition.
I suffer from dyspepsia but this is untreatable....
Reading papers and writing essays together with lab work every day is driving me crazy!!><
I simply want to have some personal time to do revision and practise flute!
Is that a nonsense request??
I just want to revise as exam is approaching. And those drugs namessssssssssssssssssss are soooo difficult!! You won't even know how to pronounce them!
For physiology, soooo many mechanisms and no past paper for me to revise, I can't image how my exam would be.

Year 3 life is crazy.
I so much want to stop and have a break, but it is such a unreachable dream.
I should not ask for that, not that I don't deserve it, just that I don't have the right to enjoy it.

>>2009年11月22日 Sun 19:12:39 (GMT+8)

2009 年 11 月 16 日 星期一 【晴】

Hey, diary, long time no see!
Seems years have passed but it is only months. Perhaps I was having an extremely busy life.

Just think of you after flipping through papers.
I'm trying delete some parts of memory but you reserve all of them. That's why I opened an account in Blogger.
I thought I would use it frequently but I don't.
Coz i was too busy to write. I wonder how I managed to write every day in those years?

I guess you have a unique identity in my life and it can't be replaced by Blogger. So don't worry~:p

>>2009年11月16日 Mon 0:06:50 (GMT+8)

2009 年 9 月 14 日 星期一 【颱風】

:::::::: 民生 x 特首 = 上電視 ::::::::

Today is really an unlucky day for me.

Firstly, I back to CU much late than expected due to the long long queue in mini-bus terminal and school shuttle bus stop.
Originally plan to have a big breakfast in Med can ga ma.... Eventually I can only buy a sandwich and eat.

Go to library to borrow Pharmacology textbook.
Need to study hard la.
Then back to lab to put the books down and have a look at my astrocytes.
No good in condition. :(

Doze off in Drug Action course!!!><
Gosh! How can I resolve the curse of chem related stuffs?!
Finish the class lately (as usual), rush up to NA for TRA course, when I arrive, there is a notice posted on the door saying Dr. Lau is sick and the class is thus called off....

Lunch at NA canteen and back to lab.
Du Fang tells me yesterday Tian has her cells contamined by mould. :O
And he helps me check mine, 5 bottles have to be thrown away......><

Subculture astrocytes, not surprised to know that even there are 12 bottles of cells, only very few are extracted out.But still...sigh.

Learn that typhoon no. 8 signle would be hoised. So Sxxt!
We were going to have CCFYP meeting this evening for finalizing the questionnaire!!!!><
We have no choice besides cancelling it. Sigh.

Back home a watch ATV news.
Reporter is talking about the Chief Executive, Donald Tsang, having forum with 900 students.
Mum asks, ''Is it MSC? The school uniform and the hall resemble MSC's so much.'
I pay so much attention when the camera has close up and definitly it is MSC.

Well, the principal should be happy.
Having so many mintues on news report is a fantastic and free advertising.
And most importantly, students were all using English to ask questions ma. This surely is something she wants.

>>2009年09月14日 Mon 20:32:29 (GMT+8)

2009 年 8 月 31 日 星期一 【酷熱】

:::::::: 5 hours CCFYP Journey :::::::::

Haven't update diary for daysssssssssssssssssss!
Have been extremely busy with lab, lab and lab.
Whole life is occupied by lab, and the remaining little time is for flute exam preparation.
Feeling short of breath....

Today skipped choir practice because have to discuss CCFYP proposal as it dues tomorrow!
Thanks Janice for coming to Talford.
Have quick lunch at KFC then transit to Pacific Coffee to discuss our proposal.
We are troubled much by the wordings, i hate that!
Can't get online, and this cause much inconvenience, you know.

Luckily, cafe has 2 computers which can go online, so we can search info there but no port for saving it to USB la.
Get things so-called settled at 6:00p.m.!
Wow~ we disucss that for 4 hours!!!! It is like marathon!
Exhausted.

After dinner at home, go online and search info to finish the remaining part of proposal.
In total I spend 5 hours on writing proposal today!! Poor ada....

Read Vivien's new writing for Xanga story, I miss those days that I have inspiration to write.
And I appreciate much for yours and Mike's effort to continue the story.
I wanna write but I can't. There is not even a word in my mind.
My brain is fully occupied by dull experimental procedures, calculations and research method, survey for FYP.
How come my life loses its color???

>>2009年08月31日 Mon 0:12:10 (GMT+8)

2009 年 8 月 21 日 星期五 【晴】

::::::::: Frustrating ROS ::::::::

Back to lab early and start non-stop day.
Today is really packed. So busy that I skipped lunch.
Change medium, extract astrocytes and try the ROS experiment.

4 hours H2O2 treatment perfectly allows me finish seeding astrocytes and change medium.
The cells seem go on well =]
Just hope no contamination la.

When I get the result of ROS, I am AGAIN disappointed.
Still the old problem.
I really don't know what else I could do. Having tried all means to improve the protocol and reading papers to get more insights, still, don’t have ANY positive result.

Late tea with JC at NA can. Okay, the biggest motivation for skipping lunch and have such a packed day is that I want to leave a bit earlier.
Leave at 5:15p.m— the earliest time these months (for no special reason e.g. rushing for tutorial)

My tears can't help falling. I don’t know why.
I don't know why those data can make me so sad.
I know it is no use crying. But I can't stop myself.
I am so angry with myself that I cry, I have to face the color and take real action instead of crying.
However, I lose control of myself.

I wanna give up.
I definitely not a person that give up easily. But 3 months of trying is tiring.
And it is stressed when have no data to give to my 'boss'; meanwhile I have my presentation at Dec.
This is the path I choose. I deserve all this and I shouldn’t complain.
But I really want some positive data to cheer me up.
You give a lot but no reward, and this keeps occurring.
It is very discouraging, frustrating and gives a hopeless feeling.

I want to escape. But I can't....

>>2009年08月22日 Sat 23:30:38 (GMT+8)

2009 年 8 月 15 日 星期六 【晴】

:::::::::: Sleeping Ada :::::::::::::

今日九成時間都在睡眼中度過……:p
太累了。

練練下笛都頂唔順就去�啋臐C
唯一有d貢獻既就係打晒畀組仔女mark佢地reg科時間再�M我地組爸媽負責。

出左去買生日卡，Hallmark d野真係超貴，$100張lor!!!
同vivien去左許留山醫肚，跟住行朗豪坊kill time，無意中買左隻VCD。
等埋Sing就入場睇<<沖天救兵>>，3D okay la，個plot中間有d斷左既感覺，但都係卡通片mainly target小朋友，唔太details搞得好複雜都好。

食完飯就歸家，好�ロr！
我仲未�埶驉I

>>2009年08月16日 Sun 20:35:30 (GMT+8)

2009 年 8 月 14 日 星期五 【晴】

:::::: CHUR ::::::

O camp過後既今日，就週期性不適la
都好在完左camp先有事，係camp係咁都唔知點算。

去city開CCFYP會，finalize個proposal，祖兒同我呢d剛剛完O’camp既人都係爛聲的~:p
真係好佩服佢琴日完左o’camp仲可以去幫人補習，神人呀!!

越傾就越唔舒服，食左粒特效必利痛都仲係痛到死，仲要瀉，食埋喇叭牌la……
結果頂唔順，一個鐘內食兩粒特效必利痛，搭火車返CU時仲係唔多ok，苦惱緊點做lab。
好在返到lab d藥開始發揮效力，咁就可以順利殺鼠鼠la。
Jim有d驚訝咁問我做乜返左去，我都想放假呀(明明請左假ga la ma)，不過鼠鼠出世大過天，有細胞先可以做實驗嘛。
算快搞掂，搭左基哥既順風車落火車站，thanks!

聽日終於可以放假了。

>>2009年08月16日 Sun 20:25:36 (GMT+8)

2009 年 8 月 9 日 星期日 【陰】

:::::::::::: Swimming ::::::::::::::

�唻鴩鴗Q點半起身，練完笛就動身去九龍仔游水la!
好令我興奮ga，因為係今個夏天第一次落水，期待好耐了！對上一次應該係係UCLA其中一個泳池度游la。

打算游1000米就算ga la，但比我預期中游得快，抖下停下咁最後輕輕鬆鬆咁游左1300-1400米。=]
有樣野我諗唔明，點解一開始游好�ョA但越游越唔�ハe?!

游完就行落去學笛，好方便好近呀!
可以之後都係咁wor~ hee
今日好差，三首考試歌ｄ聲都好散呀!!!!><

返屋企執入O’Camp野，今次���琝r！哈哈
其實唔多野帶去，不過就有好多野要帶返黎lor
因為有好多sponsor，沖涼液、洗髮護髮、牙膏牙刷面巾全部都有sponsor~so good!

突然醒起我未打CCFYP proposal既日程表呀，聽日dead……今晚又無得早�唌K…灰

>>2009年08月09日 Sun 0:26:03 (GMT+8)

2009 年 8 月 7 日 星期五 【暴雨】

:::::::::::: Experiment vs Data ::::::::::::::::

Calculating the chemicals needed for experiment when back to lab.
Then read Yeung Yeung's paper but it is so difficult that I give up eventurally.
Turn to change medium for cells instead~:p

Journal Club.
Doze off....I am just too tired.
My question is firstly asked by Dr. Yung, when it comes to my turn, I only ask very 'tui' question....:(

Quick lunch at Med can and then start the ROS experiment.
I can’t find the bottle of HEPES which I diluted last week! It is missing!!
Have no way but to make new ones. But when I have the new one prepared, I find that bottle in culture room refrigerator…..=.=''
How come it goes to that place?

The experiment was not smooth. Time is too tight to manipulate 2 plates.
Definitely would lead to experimental errors.
The common lab in 1/F is very hot ar, I have to take off my lab coat but still sweating.

27th cultured astrocytes are contaminated!!><
So sad…..:(
After changing medium, back to enter data.
So many numbers to enter, in total there are 720!!! Argh~

Leave at six something for O'camp 庇護, I am too tired that I doze off even I am using a needle sewing the legs of our 組公仔...=.=''
Leave early coz I haven't been at home for dinner for a week!!
Very nice soup~=]

Continue to enter data then send a really long email to 小梅.
I feel good for doing experiment, however, I feel double or even triple frustrated when the data have problemssssssss....
Data can be BIG trouble too!
Of course, if you don’t have any data, a BIGGER trouble is waving to you form your 'boss'....

>>2009年08月09日 Sun 0:27:28 (GMT+8)

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